The teeth-rattling, girdle-busting chocolate website

Bitterwallet - Chocolize It's quite a surprise that this hasn't happened before now - a nation of lardarses embrace the customisation of consumerism and go on to cut an extra notch in their belt buckles. Chocomize lets you customise chocolate bars, by allowing you to mix over 100 different types of of fruits, nuts, herbs, and sweets into a chocolate of your choice.

Some of the customisation is plain wrong - roasted pistachio nuts and gummy bears? Yes please. If you want to throw in lavender, poppy seeds and curry powder, fill your boots. The number of combinations possible is in the billions, but then at close to a fiver a bar it's unlikely to see your jaw wired up.

If your teeth are already loosening as the prospect of bacon and dead baby-flavoured chocolate* (*not a real flavour), bad news, fat fans - Customize only ship to US addresses for the time being. Boo.


  • Paul
    Jolly good that they're not shipping internationally. American chocolate is as delicious as licking a tramp's slug-infested vomit from a London pavement.
  • Robert M.
    Do they do fudge packing?
  • PaulH
    WTF! DIS IS REEL! Mmmmm I want chocolate from this site
  • The B.
    Merkin chocolate is waxy to stop it melting, it's foul stuff.
  • Shooter M.
    Thread over. Paul's reply is 100% accurate.

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