The Sun releases a perfume - world enters dream-state
The Sun - the newspaper - has launched a perfume. Seriously. You'd not entered some horrifying dream-world where babies talk backwards and dog's walk on hind legs while vomiting up bags of ants. This is real.
And it's called Buzz.
Apparently, the perfume captures the spirit of entertainment that they are "famous for" and has been created exclusively for the rag by some perfume maker called Roja Dove. Forecasts suggest that this won't be selling very well in Liverpool.
Dove says: "The Sun is a British institution so the idea of bottling entertainment for the paper was a challenge I jumped at. Anticipation, indulgence, relaxation and glamour were the words I focused on when creating the fragrance.
"So Buzz opens with citrus notes - a blend of bergamot and other citrus fruits gives a little frisson of excitement like the thrill of arriving at a film premiere. Then the heart of the scent is based around sensual, ultra feminine jasmine, tempered by rose and orange blossom.
"Ylang ylang - meaning flower of flowers - comes next, which brings smoothness and makes the perfume smell rounded on the skin. Serene and feminine, ylang ylang represents the confident star on the red carpet. Finally, the base of the scent is sandalwood, which gives a lingering quality."
You can buy Buzz eau de parfum for £59 on the fifth floor of Harrods. If you're brain damaged in some way, you can buy it here.
We too are releasing a fragrance. It will be called 'Jaded' and will smell of ammonia, urinal cakes, ashtrays and contain notes of bile. You'll be able to buy it from a bloke stood near the bins 'round the back of Poundstretcher in Sunderland (five minutes walk from the train station). Prices vary depending on your face.