The perfect gift - a week of stalking by an evil clown
Looking to get a special present for your kid’s birthday? Are they jaded and bored by the usual conveyor-belt of console games, clothes and book tokens? Then why not pay to have them stalked by an evil clown for a week?
Yes, really. Swiss mentalist Domninc Deville is that clown and for a small fee he will spend seven days pursuing your offspring, sending them creepy texts, freaking them out with prank phone calls and setting traps in their letterboxes.
Then, once their nerves have been suitably shredded, Deville will pounce, splatting them in the face with their birthday cake. But don’t worry – it’s all just a load of fun really and if they can avoid the clown attack… they get to keep the cake! Hooray!
Deville says: “The clown will never break into a residence or show up at work. It’s all in fun and if, at any point, the kids get scared or their parents are concerned, we stop right there.” Phew – so there shouldn’t be any problem with unknowing victims being psychologically scarred for life then – even if it is only available to over-18s.
Sadly, Deville is based in Switzerland and there appear to be no plans for him to bring his madcap ‘service’ to the UK. Having said that, if you’re looking for an alternative, for just £5,000, a representative of Bitterwallet will enter the home of one of your loved ones and take a dump in their cutlery drawer. No, it's a pleasure.