The only labour-saving device JML don't sell

17 February 2009

Is. There. Any. Need. If this went on in the UK, you'd be reaching for the number of Social Services. It's probably a joke, but then again it's looks scarily real:

For those off you who still value your eyesight, allow Bitterwallet to translate the minuscule scribe in this book (our eyesight is already bad for... medical reasons):

"Make your child work for their keep. After the birth of your child, there's always the temptation to say "Yes, it's cute, but what can it do?"."

Is there really the temptation to say that? Is there? Are you sure?

"Until recently the answer was simply lie "there and cry" but now babies can be put on the payroll, so to speak, almost as soon as they're born. Just dress your young one in Baby Mops and set him or her down on any hard wood or the floor that needs cleaning. You may at first need to get things started by calling to the infant from across the room, but pretty soon they'll be doing it all by themselves."

"There's no child exploitation involved. The kid is doing what he does best anyway; crawling. But with Baby Mops he's also learning responsibility and a healthy work ethic."

Responsibility and a healthy work ethic. At nine months hold. Run, child, run. As fast as you can, away from these demonic parents. Oh, wait.

[kirainet on FLickr] via [LikeCOOL]

8 comments

  • Mark
    Best idea I've seen in ages. How do I order one?
  • Ows
    Paul, I believe the "invention" noted is actually from a book by the Japanese author, Kenji Kawakami, called "101 Unuseless Japanese Inventions: The Art of Chindogu". As the Amazon.com Editorial Review states: "Have you ever been tempted to go for a walk when you really needed to do the laundry? Well, now you can wash your clothes and get your daily exercise at the same time with "Walk 'n' Wash" ankle-attachable laundry tanks. Too busy to breastfeed the baby? The "Daddy Nurser" will let your husband or significant other share in the joys of motherhood. From Japan, land of the bullet-train and the Walkman, come chindogu (literally an odd or distorted tool), witty and whimsical inventions that are almost useful but not quite. Kawakami, founder of the International Chindogu Society, outlines the basic ten tenets of chindogu; among them: they cannot be for real use; they must exist; and they are without prejudice. His book is much like the 101 objects it displays, an "unuseless" purchase but a delight in itself." http://www.amazon.com/101-Unuseless-Japanese-Inventions-Chindogu/dp/0393313697
  • Joff
    Already been done, and better, by the French. Once stayed in a French Gîte that had house slippers designed to buff the floor as you scurried about smoking gitanes, wearing a string of onions and drinking château neuf de pape.
  • Krystal
    Not really labour saving, coz some poor bint's gotta pop the sprog first!!
  • Joff
    Krystal - that's not normally a problem for the typical JML customer...
  • Martin
    Gordon Brown is a labour saving device. No one has to /can work any more now he has managed the country so well.
  • The B.
    I found it was more cost efficient to sell the kids into slavery and replace them with electrical cleaning appliances.
  • Fred C.
    It is a fantastic baby wear. I hope that it will take off and be sold every where. It is excellent for tile and wooden floor. All the baby needs is a bumper helpmet on the head. You will need this to clean close to the walls and corners.

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