The Necky™ - for the simpleton with a neck
Holy fuckcakes, what fresh hell is this? If you're too stupid to tie a scarf, then buy the Necky™ Fleece Scarf today and you'll get a free Bitterwallet bolt-gun to press against your own temple and fire. Not that we'd trust you to do that properly, either:
It's a bib, for crying out loud. And nobody we know ever gets their scarf trapped in a door on a daily basis. Unless they're stupid twats of the highest, stupidest order. Be assured - if you buy this and wear it, we will find you.