The monster burger that's really a thinly-veiled suicide note

27 March 2009

America – home of the brave. And you’d have to be either as brave as a lion or as stupid as a badger to want to sink your teeth into one of these fat-filled horror shows. It’s called the Fifth Third burger and is named after the Michigan baseball stadium where it was created.

It’s packing an atrocious 4,800 calories (more than twice the recommended daily amount) but if you’re a bit of a health nut, there’s some lettuce and tomato in there for you as well. Scoff the whole thing and you win a T-shirt – hopefully it’s got the contact details of a reputable undertaker printed on it somewhere.



  • Scooby P.
    Can you imagine the dirty pony you'd need after eating this? Bit like the missus shoving out an 11 and a half pounder!!!
  • P E.
    I wonder if they do it without the tomato?
  • Graham
    I know it's gonna kill me, but I want one. I have to have one. I NEED to have one. Just a little bite. God I can feel my arteries clogging as I chew. But I can't stop. I've just gotta finish this beast. I won't let it win. Halfway through now. I'm sweating out the special sauce. I can already feel it making it's way through my stomach. Just a few more mouthfuls left. That t-shirt is mine. All my friends are gonna be so jealous of me. Such a tiny piece left. I knew this burger wouldn't beat me. But wait, my chest is tightening, and my left arm is going numb. Good job I hold my burger in my right hand. Yes I've done it!! That burger was a demon but I beat it. Give me my t-shirt. I may have gone from a medium to a XXL but it was so wor..... Shit... I died eating the monster burger and all I got was this lousy t-shirt
  • Kat
    That put me right off breakfast..

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