The gift that says "I've far too much money and I don't love you"
Gah. I can hear Elton John's Step Into Christmas on the radio as I type this, yet I feel as festive as a kitten learning to swim with a brick in a potato sack. It'll be no fun in the poorhouse this Winter, and what doesn't help is lunatics selling stuff like this.
That's right. It's a bottle of water. Not liquid platinum, not a cure for all of humanity's ills, but the stuff that comes out of your taps, assuming you're still able to afford the water bill. Of course it's been filtered through the teats of seven sacred cows before dribbling through layers of million-year-old rock strata and flicked off the nipples of a Romanian princess etc etc. Plus it's "decorated with glittering snowy crystals that charmingly symbolize the purity of this natural spring water."
Well that's be why it costs $14 for a 750ml bottle, then. Plus delivery. Plus a stupid tax imposed on any individual buying the stuff, since they're clearing capable of shitting money. Gah.