The cardigan you won't be buying for gran's birthday
Read the description of this innocently-named cardigan - the "Sharon" - and it sounds like a perfect present for the wife or an elderly relative:
"Softest cotton and silk cashmere mix cardigan in classic AP colours, wear with pride. Luxurious pearl drop buttons complete the look."
Then you realise the AP means it's sold by Agent Provocateur, so you assume it may not be entirely appropriate as a gift for a loved one. You're then made aware of the price tag - £250 - and you know that unless it grants the power of invisibility or flight, there's no way in hell you're buying one. Finally you see it, and you wonder who the Christ would wear the thing anyway:
Yes, you're not mistaken. Those are cock and balls. And man jam spurting out the initials of the retailer. Stay classy.