The Apple never falls far from the shoe tree. Or something.

30 October 2009

Could THIS be the mythical iShoe? (Picture: DesignCrave)

People, bow down and prepare for the coming of the iShoe from Apple. The Register are reporting that Apple have filed a patent application for the snappy-sounding 'Shoe Wear-Out Sensor, Body-Bar Sensing System, Unitless Activity Assessment and Associated Methods.' Basically, it looks like it’ll be some kind of gizmoid that will tell you exactly when your footwear is fucked.

As the patent application clearly explains:

“Shoes (including sneakers or boots, for example) provide comfort and protection for feet. More importantly, shoes provide physical support for feet to reduce risk of foot injuries. A shoe is often necessary to provide support during intense physical activity, such as running, soccer and American football.

“As a shoe wears, physical support provided by the shoe decreases, thereby reducing associated protection from injury. When a critical wear level is reached, even if the shoe looks like it is not particularly worn, the shoe may not provide adequate support and may, in fact, cause damage to feet.”

For us, that’s what sets Apple apart from all the competition – we’ve always suspected that they’ve been REALLY concerned about the condition of our feet. As the application (or ‘app’ if you like) continues…

"In one embodiment, a shoe wear out sensor includes at least one detector for sensing a physical metric that changes as a shoe wears out, a processor configured to process the physical metric, over time, to determine if the shoe is worn out, and an alarm for informing a user of the shoe when the sole is worn out."

So, it’ll be sort of like the warning sound that you get whenever your car is running low on fuel. Except it’ll be inside your shoes. Rumours are abound that this will be an enhancement to the Nike + iPod system that keeps track of your workouts by linking your shoes to your iPod but we hope there’ll be a version for Bill Gates' Hush Puppies as well.

6 comments

  • TVDBP
    in b4 whinging about another apple post
  • SpazTCat
    Alliteration is cleaver, but not for the illiterate.
  • J
    Do I sense an apple iShoe fanboy?
  • egg h.
    I am just about to use the word cunt,and I am a professor at a big clever university.
  • Matt
    I agree, it's not cleaver to use the f word, & if you do it again, I'll get my clever & hack you to pieces!
  • philip f.
    what a bunch of isoles

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