Someone give this kid a job...

We present you with a CV, as handed in to avid Twitter user @chefs_utd, a man who is looking to recruit a chef. He says he won't be offering this candidate a job, but take a look - he HAS to be right for someone somewhere...

cv of the year


  • Alex
    That's still better than some of the crap I get from "graduates"
  • Sean (.
    If that's how he sells himself to girls it's gotta be good enough for potential employers...
  • Kevin
    This is obviously meant to be funny but as Alex says it's better than a lot of the real applications companies get these days.
  • StuPid
    With spelling like that, either The Guardian or Bitterwallet!
  • PlatinumPlatypus
    It would be easy to write someone off for poor quality of written English but I think it's quite a frank and respectable application. I'm not an employer but this guy looks like he would be loyal and grateful for the job. The one thing he's lacking is some sort of experience but everyone has to start somewhere. I'm not sure how he got a C in GCSE English, though.
  • Nikey H.
    CV Layout is wrong - CV will get binned straightaway Very bad grades in GCSE, what was he thinking ? And, only 3 subjects ? Really??? All he can do now is become a plumber, profession pays well
  • ObtuseMongoose
    I like the cut of his jib
  • Yue
    Is this a bad translation of a CV in some foreign language?
  • blagga
    ..and the non-existent grade of "C+" in the non-existent subject of "science". I smell a badly-spelled rat.
  • James11
  • Mustapha S.
    Has mof been looking for another job?
  • Avon B.
    I wouldn't give him the stink off my shite. Can't spell = can't/won't learn = doesn't care. Back to collecting trolleys, sonny.
  • Kev
    @PlatinumPlatypus He got a C in GCSE English because they don't mark down every spelling mistake now, it doesn't matter how many you make they can only knock off a limited number of marks. It's a pity, judging by this CV, this guy would have probably got a negative mark.
  • captain c.
    @ lst it wsnt n txt spk.
  • Alexis
    "Posted by blagga • October 4, 2012 at 6:53 pm ..and the non-existent grade of “C+” in the non-existent subject of “science”. I smell a badly-spelled rat." Double award science was a GCSE subject when I were a lad. The nerds took three separate subjects.
  • Dick
    > I’m not sure how he got a C in GCSE English, though. Me neither, he should have got at least a B for that.
  • Y R.
    Yes, it's not the best CV in the world but he's applying to be a chef where I don't think written skills are particularly important. There's nothing on there saying he's poisoned anyone in the past so give the guy a break! All most people have got to go on are documentaries like EastEnders where they just walk in off the street and are given jobs without actually having interviews. At least being able to write shows at least moderate intelligence.
  • klingelton
    Worth an interview.
  • JLR
    I read "grafting" as "grifting"..
  • I c.
    WTF is a 'beasty car' pmsl
  • Sawyer
    Personally, when I apply to jobs I prefer my potential employer to not post my CV on the internet. Might be just what this kid needs though.
  • Boo
    He doesn't have a degree so he isn't worth hiring. Fucking pleb
  • Nick
    If he can "talk the talk and do the work" I'd give him a job.
  • Justin
    What a berk.
  • Expendable B.
    That is some fucked up shit. Doesn't matter how thick he is or is not, he doesn't deserve his ring-meat of an interviewer posting his CV on the Internet for cheap laughs.
  • James D.
    i think bitter wallet should employeeeee him

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