So did YOU win Bitterwallet's 2nd birthday competition?
Since we announced our spectacular birthday competition, we've received literally millions of entries. Well, roughly 50 but we were still surprised, since we had you lot pegged as a bunch of half-witted, apathetic perverts - whereas now we know you're a bunch of half-witted, apathetic perverts who can open MS Paint.
Some of you went to town on intensely detailed cutting and pasting, some of you frankly couldn't be arsed, but what stood out were the ideas, the creativity and the passion for Bitterwallet; it's clear you loathe us only half as much as we despise you.
Anyway, with the standard two paragraphs of scene-setting nonsense done and dusted, it's time to find out who won the prizes. From a shortlist of half-a-dozen birthday card designs, the Bitterwallet team has argued, fought and relentlessly punched one another in the balls to decide the final three. You'll probably disagree, but then that's your job, isn't it?
3rd Place - Joanna Barrett-Smith
Bloody brilliant. There were some very impressive entries that mashed up images of all our favourite topics, but this topped the lot. Stuffed full of Bitterwallet stories, it smashed into third place because of the attention to detail - take a closer look at the shop windows, and there's Bitterwallet's consumer champion Len Dastard and his masked glare of fury.
2nd Place - Thomas Corkindale
Special birthday wishes from a pimped-up Steve Jobs, caught in the act of necking a delicious Bitterwallet Big Breakfast Sundae. Epic.
1st Place - Dan Collins
Dan's entry pretty much won by a country mile. Simple, creative and perfectly executed. A birthday card we'll consider printing for our next birthday.
To everyone else - thank you for your custom. If we had t-shirts, we'd send you one. Alas, we don't - but your efforts were recognised and applauded. Well, most of them. Now, all that remains is for Bitterwallet to declare the inevitable squabbling and occasional messages of congratulations OPEN.