Shopkeeper, a bottle of your special mouthwash, please

You can fanny about with chopping and changing the font all you want, or break the name of the product over two lines to disguise your embarrassment - it doesn't work. Nobody cares what's in the bottle or what it does - as soon as the customer reads the label, they'll probably put it back on the shelf (thanks to avid Bitterwallet reader Richard for the hat-tip):

Bitterwallet - Retardex

The fact that the manufacturers can't bring themselves to call the contents mouthwash simply compounds the issue. A retarded oral rinse - it's seven shades of wrong all rolled into one.


  • Romeo M.
    What are you laughing at again? The 'retard' bit of 'Retardex'? 'Oral Rinse' instead of mouthwash? Or maybe just the word 'Oral'?? For f**k's sake.
  • Johnny B.
    Eh? Where does it say RETARDED? Nowhere that I can see. I am guessing that the name RETARDEX is derived from the word RETARD which means to delay, slow down or hinder progress. As in delaying mouth disease. Nobs.
  • The B.
    Brian here. WTF??? IS DIS 4 REAL????
  • Foxy F.
    Just what you need after being the back segment of a human centipede.
  • AyePet
    Bitterwallet is low on news today, my Hygienist has given me this mouthwash before too, I don't recall anything actually funny in that...
  • Morocco
    Leaves any windows you lick smelling minty fresh
  • The B.
    God alone knows what would happen if they went to Paris and the train back was delayed, there'd be people exploding with laughter all along the platform I'd wager.
  • Jimbo
    jesus wept. call yourself an editor? pretty tame stuff. why don't you get it out your system and head over to then come back and write a fuckin article on something interesting in the consumer world.
  • Jimbo
    i meant engrish, not chinglish
  • eddiex
    This stuff is fucking dear.
  • codify
    Retard is a medical term to slow down or block - i.e. retards the growth of oral bacteria. Get a life, and a brain cell.
  • Retardate
    I thought it was funny. Mental retardation is obviously a serious problem in the comments around here. More serious consumer items please, but also more light-humoured pieces such as this.
  • Stewie G.
    This website really is the worst
  • PokeHerPete
    My brother Bilbo have funny retardation!

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