Scores of football fans could be 'under a vest' at World Cup

14 January 2010

ProtektorVestEN We’re but a few months away from the festival of merchandising football that is the World Cup in South Africa, and as we all know (lazy journalism alert) every single fan who travels to the tournament will be constantly stabbed, mugged, raped and murdered pretty much from the minute they step off the plane thanks to the unbelievable crime wave that is South Africa. Apparently.

In a bid to feast on these fears and make a few quid into the bargain, a company has come up with the Protektorvest, a stab vest that is available in the colours of your nation’s flag – helping to keep you safe from inevitable death while you proudly sport your colours, which in itself could increase the risk of becoming a stab-target.

According to the blurb: “Protektorvest offers effective protection from potential attacks from blades, knives, bottles and broken glass and turns your stab vest into a special and exclusive fan article.” Not a distasteful cash-in in any way shape or form then? Great!

If it catches on, we could see the wearing of these things creep into the domestic game as peacenik knife-wielding hooligans look to get their kicks without causing long-lasting damage to their fellow boneheads. Are you reading this Sky? Sounds like a show to us!

[Mirror]

9 comments

  • Nobby
    Now all they need are bullet proof ones for the players and officials. PS. Bitterwallet really needs to produce more articles, otherwise it will be wiped off the face of HUKD by playpennies. At the moment, 4 out of 5 blogs are playpennies and the other is dealspun. We don't want celeb news, we want wierd and crap news.
  • Gunn
    @Nobby, that's true, I sometimes have to use my bookmark to get here.
  • Simon C.
    What? Don't you want to hear about Mark Iceberg and Zoe Ball's baby? No, neither do I.
  • The B.
    But football is for girls, all that rolling around on the floor because someone looked at them funny, god knows what they'd do if someone pulled a knife on them.
  • Pravin
    The national flag will help the muggers to identify the language and currency they should mug you in.
  • MyOtherUserNameIsAFerrari
    Here Here, i dont want to read about Zoe Balls Feckin celeb baby. Unless of course turns out to be one of those "spider babies" you know, its like a spider but it has the brain of a baby, now thats a story.
  • barry w.
    More love or crap news please. I never heard about the spider baby when did she give birth to that?
  • Beezy C.
    Do they do one in Togo's colours? Too soon?????
  • Nobby
    Beezy - I was going to say it earlier, but these are level KR1 (stab proof), not HG1 (bullet proof). Hence the bullet proof statement above.

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