Retail Tales: Mr & Mrs Bates and the CIA...

20 August 2010

The final story in our series of yarns from the wild world of retail

Today, another library-based anecdote - because that's where all the real mentalists hang out...

cia-seal In the middle of one unassuming day, an imposing woman looking like an long block of unsculptured wood with a tea cosy perched on its top appeared, lurking in the doorway of the library and shoved her tiny husband in, sending him spinning towards the main enquiry desk.

They were Mr and Mrs Bates, and Mr Bates was armed with a note from his wife requesting a contact address for the CIA. Normal everyday library business. Most tellingly though, the letter was written in green ink, the universal signifier of the unhinged.

We found the contact details for the CIA and sent Mr B back into the powerful arms of his hulking bride. But after that, every couple of weeks, he would return with another letter from Mrs Bates, the same as the original but for an addendum at the bottom, usually along the lines of ‘CIA address incorrect. All of my correspondence unanswered. Please check for CURRENT address!!’. For all I know, this ceremonial dance of insanity may still be going on...

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3 comments

  • Nobby
    > Most tellingly though, the letter was written in green ink, the universal signifier of the unhinged. Did they double underline random words in red ink? That is the sign of the truly mad.
  • Marky M.
    Er, I hope you've asked for permission to use their logo.
  • kev
    was their son with them? Master Bates?

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