Retail Tales: Another devoted fan, of Daniel O'Donnell this time...

18 August 2010

Another true story from a mis-spent youth working as a retail till jockey...

DanielO'Donnell Some celebs inspire fervent devotion from their fans. Delicate Irish crooner and housewives’ favourite Daniel O’Donnell is such a star. During my tenure in a branch of Our Price, one of his fans hounded us continually with questions about forthcoming releases, tour dates, even instore sales figures.

A reasonably normal young woman (at least by the standards of the town where I worked), you would have no idea that she was an O’Donnell obsessive. That is if you ignored the saucer-sized badge with his face on it that was constantly pinned to her anorak.

Shortly before the release of one of his albums, her visits became more frequent and fevered, asking what the release date was, what time we’d be getting it in etc. Tired of these repetitive enquiries, I decided to have a little bit of fun and told her I’d heard that the O’Donnell might actually be delivering the CDs himself in a personal appearance on the release date. Cue knicker-drenching hysterics. She took me seriously. Shit.

Come the big day and she was outside the store at 7.30am along with her downtrodden dad and his camera. I couldn’t string her along any longer and solemnly informed her that Daniel wouldn’t be delivering the CDs to us.

I hadn’t expected that the news would be greeted with the frenzied squalling which almost led to her choking to death. She clearly needed to be placated and so after going into the back office and making an imaginary phone call, I returned to tell her that the her idol would actually be appearing in HMV’s Middlesbrough branch, at least a 45 minute drive away. As she dragged her father off in the direction of the nearest taxi rank I couldn’t help thinking I’d made things a little bit worse...

7 comments

  • Amanda H.
    I think I prefer the apple blogs.
  • Nobby
    Eoin McLove: I've no willy.
  • Rich
    @amanda hugginkiss, go fuck yourself. That story is hillarious!
  • bawbag
    Hi guys, I'm back! I see amanda hugginkiss is still a wanker though
  • Fannydango
    Who can blame her,big strapping Alpha male like that.
  • amandahugginkiss
    Daniel O'Donnell is a cock. This story is the semen. The Person who "owns" this anecdote is a Pussy.
  • Wonky H.
    Fellow BitterWalleters, prepare to be dazzled! Well, as Andy has already mentioned, the name of the store that he worked at was "Our Price". It's about these... customers. customers... with patches over their eyes... and... shiny gold teeth... and green birds on their shoulders... Did I mention this post was commented on by a guy named Amandahugginkiss? And published by the good people at BitterWallet. So, in conclusion, on the Wonky scale of one to ten, ten being the highest, one being the lowest, and five being average, I give this post... a nine.

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