Pumpkin shortage threatens tens of Halloween parties

Bitterwallet - Halloween pumkins © Paul Smith Apparently, the UK is looking at a pumpkin shortage this Halloween. Don't worry though, because most people don't bother with actual pumpkins, and buy plastic things instead. However, if you're a purist, you're advised to start buying them right now.

Presumably, so they'll be rotten and half-fermented by the time Halloween actually comes around, which will be extra spooky or something.

So what's happened? Has a creepy ghoul decimated loads of crops? Sadly not. A report says that heavy rains in August cocked things up, and crops have been weak, which means there might not be many pumpkins knocking about by the time October 31st is here.

Jon Barfoot, commercial director of fruit and vegetable supplier Barfoots, reckons that crops will be down 50%: "Retailers don’t take any fruits with minor blemishes or soft spots as these progress into full-blown issues in the depot networks and in the ambient temperature of stores, where they metamorphose into pumpkin soup. So yields will be about 50 per cent of the originally planned crop."

That said, Morrisons have said that they'll be selling albino pumpkins, which look properly horrible (which is good for Halloween, obviously). Albino pumpkins are usually considerably smaller than their orange cousins, but this year, for some reason (shall we assume it is that rain's fault again?), they're much bigger than usual.

And even though the outside looks like like corpse flesh, the insides are still orange, which means you'll get a suitable Halloween glow if you whack a light in there (buy LED flickering candles, rather than old fashioned ones - much safer).


  • Xyzzy
    A purist would use a turnip, not these ridiculous US things.
  • jim
    omg disaster ! wont somebody think of the children!

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