Presenting the Bitterwallet Big Breakfast Sundae!

23 August 2010

In a bid to create our own dessert-related meal, we've had a crack at the Bitterwallet Big Breakfast Sundae. We were inspired by the Meat-Man Parfait, a dish that Yanks are shovelling into their faces at the Illinois State Fair. Could we produce something half as appealing with a very English twist? Yes we could - or need a quadruple bypass trying, dammit.

Here's the ingredients for the sundae - your typical full English assortment. No hash browns and no smoked fish products either. Argue amongst yourselves if you disagree:

Bitterwallet - ingredients for the Bitterwallet big breakfast sundae

We didn't have a fancy sundae glass, so we used a decorative Stella Artois pint glass nicked from the local a couple of years ago.

So off we went - everything fried, except for the toast and beans. The first layer of our sundae was the button mushrooms, topped off with brown sauce. Next were the tomatoes, and the fried egg was layered on top - burst for the sake of decoration:

Bitterwallet - three stages of the Sundae

Four rashers of bacon were then crammed into the glass, Heinz tomato sauce poured on top, then two whole pieces of black pudding were slung in. Finally, a generous drizzle of beans, a pork sausage and toast. Ladies and gentlemen, the Bitterwallet Big Breakfast Sundae:

Bitterwallet - the Bitterwallet Big Breakfast Sundae

How did it taste? As good as it looked. So like chipping away at a pint of softly textured lard, then. Not to worry, because we had a mug of tea to wash it down with:

Bitterwallet - Bitterwallet Big Breakfast Sundae - job done

In all honestly it was a modest effort - there's only so much you can fit in a pint glass, and we think some of you fat porkers can do much better. If you're inspired to waste an hour and a few quid preparing a faintly nauseating meal, send the photographic evidence to our new email address, [email protected]


  • The B.
    Okay, I'm not happy about hash browns but I can do bubble and squeak surely or is it too healthy as it's got greenery in it?
  • BigRob
    as long as the cabbage is fried it is allowed. This looks awesome. I want one...
  • PokeHerPete
    Ha ha nice! As in the words of Alan Partridge, its like a savory '99!
  • Palmface
    Paul continued to hold his thumb like that after the photo as he staggered to the roadside and tried to hitchhike a lift to the hospital. But yeah, good effort! Despite being a bitch to handle with a knife and fork, this is basically a glassful of my favourite part of a fry up- the part where I save a morsel of each item for the end and stick it all on my fork for one amazing final bite! You're just missing the brown sauce, which should be swirled decoratively throughout.
  • The B.
    Actually, you've broken your own rules, HP is now not made by Heinz (American) in Amsterdam and imported to the UK, so it can't be used surely?
  • Jonny S.
    I'm sorry but that's a half arsed effort! It looks like a fat child's portion not a fat adults! Bigger glass please!
  • Darren
    As the toast usually comes on the side, I think you should have purified it in a good quality blender with some Ice! and had it as the drink! But otherwise a good effort, and actually looked quite tasty! Was it a donate an ingredient from all in the office, as I notice some bits from Sainsbury's & some from Tesco.. D
  • Nobby
    I say get rid of the ketchup. A decent fry-up needs brown sauce not red. There is enough tomato flavour in the beans. And the fried tomatoes. The other problem is the end - you finish on mushrooms as they are at the bottom. You need to finish with a meat flourish.
  • kev
    no black or white pudding? that's not a breakfast!
  • kev
    oh I see you got the black, but I'd prefer white
  • qwertyuiop
    I think what people are missing here is that there's no photographic proof pertaining to the fact that someone ACTUALLY ate that shit - there are just photos of a glass with it in and then photos of the glass empty. Youtube your effort next time.
  • Paul C.
    Excellent effort! That quite possibly looks like the best breakfast since Gary Wilmott's wedding. 7/10. Next time don't put the beans so close to the egg, use the sausage as a breakwater. I may want to mix them later, but I want that to be MY choice.
  • Graeme
    agreed with the blender comment. I want to see it as a smoothie!
  • Jonny S.
    I third the blender comment!
  • Darren
    Come on Bitterwallet! Your public has spoken. Blender! Blender! Blender! D
  • Mr G.
    Epic. Just epic.
  • Tee m.
    Sirs I salute in your tremendouse effort -it made my own winged man sausage stand to attantion,
  • Ten B.
    [...] Presenting the Bitterwallet Big Breakfast Sundae! [...]
  • So B.
    [...] birthday wishes from a pimped-up Steve Jobs, caught in the act of necking a delicious Bitterwallet Big Breakfast Sundae. [...]
  • The B.
    [...] America, you may think bigger is better, but this is a poor show. Piling a lot of fast food onto a pizza base to make the most unhealthy ├╝bermeal ever? Sure you may have racked up over 5,000 calories and nearly 300 grams of fat, but where’s the style, the finesse? Where’s the thought and attention to detail, such as that shown when we constructed the Bitterwallet Big Breakfast Sundae? [...]
  • At B.
    [...] an early grave by shovelling plates of lard down our thick throats (or indulging in the occasional big breakfast sundae). But what about a fix in-between staggering out of bed and the frying pan hits the [...]

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