Bathroom arguments get a right good pasting
Some statistics that we’ve just fashioned ourselves by shutting our eyes, holding hands, humming and then wildly stabbing away at the buttons on a calculator with a penknife suggest that more than 70% of British marriages break down thanks to rows over the toothpaste.
The same statistics show that if 50% of arguments about which part of the toothpaste tube should be squeezed were obliterated, the nation’s economy would rocket overnight and Britain’s official happiness levels would rise by 42%. Staggering.
Give thanks then for this – the two way toothpaste! And well done to its pioneer, Dominic Wilcox. Have a badge young man.
The blurb says…
“A two way toothpaste, ideal for those who get angry with their partner for squeezing the toothpaste from the front. Simply open the other end and squeeze from the back as demonstrated below. Also quite useful for getting the last of the paste out of the bottom.”
So many uses, so why is it not on the supermarket shelves NOW? We’re sure you lot will be able to give us at least a dozen reasons. You miserable sods – you don’t want Britain to be great again do you?