Original work by Constable for sale on eBay. Honest.
Stop everything. You might not have won the Euromillions jackpot the other week, but it doesn't matter. Right now, you have the chance to snap up a piece of culture, of history, of art. Yes, it's your chance to own an original work by Constable, courtesy of eBay:
The current owner, Karen, is a medium who has owned the painting for the past decade, ever since it called to her across a muddy field at a car boot sale. Woooooo. We're sure you'll agree it's an incredible story, even if it is entirely fictional, but not as incredible as the rest of the detail in the item's description:
"It is the only painting i have ever purchased in my life and im not afraid to say i know absolutely nothing about Art, Antiques etc. I have sent an enquiry to The Victoria & Albert Museum in London, who specialise on John Constable's work, and they are extremely interested and are more than willing to view the painting to clarify whether it is an original. I was told there is an original painting that has been "missing" since the 1950's and if this proves to be it, apparently it would be worth in excess of £10,000,000 (yes ten million pounds!!). It is signed and dated bottom right John Constable. ARA. Pinxt. 1820.
"I decided to advertise the painting on ebay in hope that one of you experts out there will know if this is the genuine painting, without me having to travel all the way to London.. I will be happy to arrange viewing of the painting to anyone genuinely interested in hope that you can enlighten me!"
Because if you have an inkling you're sat on a painting worth £10 million, a trip to London is out of the question, isn't it dear? Currently the listing has 626 views, so see it now before eBay deletes it.
Thanks to Bitterwallet reader The Couch