Original work by Constable for sale on eBay. Honest.

17 November 2009

Stop everything. You might not have won the Euromillions jackpot the other week, but it doesn't matter. Right now, you have the chance to snap up a piece of culture, of history, of art. Yes, it's your chance to own an original work by Constable, courtesy of eBay:

Bitterwallet - Constable on eBay

The current owner, Karen, is a medium who has owned the painting for the past decade, ever since it called to her across a muddy field at a car boot sale. Woooooo. We're sure you'll agree it's an incredible story, even if it is entirely fictional, but not as incredible as the rest of the detail in the item's description:

"It is the only painting i have ever purchased in my life and im not afraid to say i know absolutely nothing about Art, Antiques etc. I have sent an enquiry to The Victoria & Albert Museum in London, who specialise on John Constable's work, and they are extremely interested and are more than willing to view the painting to clarify whether it is an original. I was told there is an original painting that has been "missing" since the 1950's and if this proves to be it, apparently it would be worth in excess of £10,000,000 (yes ten million pounds!!). It is signed and dated bottom right John Constable. ARA. Pinxt. 1820.

"I decided to advertise the painting on ebay in hope that one of you experts out there will know if this is the genuine painting, without me having to travel all the way to London.. I will be happy to arrange viewing of the painting to anyone genuinely interested in hope that you can enlighten me!"

Because if you have an inkling you're sat on a painting worth £10 million, a trip to London is out of the question, isn't it dear? Currently the listing has 626 views, so see it now before eBay deletes it.

Thanks to Bitterwallet reader The Couch


  • Tommo
    I think I'll offer her to post it to me and I'll get it checked out for her as I live in London...
  • donttouchthehair
    She has got a 4.6 rating on Ebay for 'Item as described'. Now I'm not a mathematician but that means there is a 9.2 in 10 (or 92%) chance that this is a genuine original Constable. Or not.
  • Christopher
    Gooood afternooon Miss Kaz. My name is George Adooogadoogadoobwengo. I am from the gloorrrrious state of Nigeria, and I am veeerrrrrry interested in your painting by Mr Constable...
  • Paul S.
    If it is real, I will gladly proclaim myself King of Dicks. Does anybody fancy firing off some increasingly odd questions for the seller to answer? I'll begin...
  • Brian H.
    Its 100% not the original but, based on the assumption you have an IQ above 1, you probably knew it already. http://www.artchive.com/artchive/C/constable/constable_lock_and_mill.jpg.html
  • Hkem
    http://collections.currier.org/Obj46?sid=52639&x=205755 Fail.
  • A B.
    Hi there Kaz (assuming that is how you prefer to be reffered to as), I have a question if you don't mind taking a little of your time out to answer - that's of course if you don't mind taking the time out to answer of course. Now my question, which I hope you don't mind taking the time out to answer is rather a simple one. Though before I ask this question which I hope you don't mind answering, I'd like to let you know that I have been very intrigued by the work that certain Professional Mediums such as yourself are involved in. And the question I'd like to ask if you don't mind answering is in fact more related to the matter of Professional Mediums rather than the painting itself, though it is linked. Now the question I'd like to ask if you don't mind answering may require an answer causing you to perform some research prior to answering, and I hope that this little question that I want to ask if you don't mind answering is one that you'd want to answer. No characters left. Shit.
  • Steve
    You could have told me earlier... before I bid £9 million hoping to make a quick profit
  • maxtweenie
    If she's a medium, why can't she just ask John Constable if it's the real thing or not? Stupid cow.
  • Nick
    Id love to see the ebay and paypal fees on that............................
  • Ekky
    Original!......hardly. Chinese copy or a print on canvas, nice new clean canvas on the reverse she must have used Daz to give it that whiter than white look. Anyway why buy a PC Plod when you can own a "original" signed Picasso, Matisse or Dali bought from eBay!
  • Matt
    Looks like a print to me! So not even an "oil painting".
  • ben
    theres now a "question" which someone has found the original and where it is held
  • I.wish.I.could.fly
    I don't like them mediums. I prefer petite chicks.
  • Adam
    Decided to check out her email address in google.... http://www.freewebs.com/karenharvey-stone/ratesservices.htm
  • I.wish.I.could.fly
    ANY ENQUIRIES PLEASE E MAIL ME AT - [email protected] I did it.
  • I.wish.I.could.fly
    @Adam + the whole BW crew 'i can travel to you within a 20 mile radius at no extra cost if you have a minimum of 4 persons.' what a wanker, this karen is...
  • Jamie
    I wonder how many times she had to check the number of digits in that sum to be confident that it is actually ten million.
  • TomT
    I can't believe that people have actually put bids in for this. And, I can't believe that ebay haven't pulled the auction yet. Um, actually, yes I can....................................................
  • Sing B.
    Good to see that print I sold at the car booty went to a good home, a Medium? wtf!
  • Maria
    very informative thank you for a nice site
  • Can e.
    [...] is taken very seriously on eBay, and with good reason. For example, a seller who deals honestly and fairly with his or her customers will earn lots of positive feedback over the years. Conversely, dishonest [...]
  • Joe L.
    you have to be kidding, did this sell?
  • shawn s.
    Listen, I uh...I have a John Constable that is an oil on wood. It has a horizontal crack through the middle. The painting is very dirty and has a clear coat of some kind on it The paint is undamaged. Dont know if this coat is original or applied later. I cant seem to get a good pic. Lets just say it real..and rough estimate on value? ITs NOT A LITHO! not the original frame and the wood has ben glued to a peice of plywood and framed. Could it be a early 1900s reproduction? The dark poatinia looks just like other works of art I have seen that have not ben cleaned. I guess I will have to post a pic..its just not very good pic.
    It's a very beautiful painting, a real Panel magic
    It's a very beautiful painting, a real Panel magic
  • MOMO
    I own this painting
  • muharram
    I own this painting which date back to the late father For more information and inquiries Via e-mail. Remember we Arabs do not care about graphics هذه الوحة انا املكة وهي ملك ابي ولكن ابي توفي اذا كانت اللوحة تهمكم يريجى مراسلتي عبر البريد الاكتروني نحنا العرب لانهتم بلوحات

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