O2 launch cash cards for kids - what could possibly go wrong?

Ver kids – at an increasingly early age, they’re indulging in the sorts of things normally reserved for grown ups. Things like parenthood, night-picnics and owning mobile phones. Did you know that the average age that a child obtains its first mobile phone is now just eight weeks? Well it isn’t – it’s eight years.

Of course, O2 are one of the companies responsible for providing those phones to those kids and now they’re looking to get an even tighter grip on the hearts and minds of our helpless pre-pubescents by launching a pre-paid cash card.

The cards will be loaded up with money in advance, either by parents or the drug overlords that the pre-teens are working for as playground pushers. Then the kids will be free to spend the dosh willy-nilly anywhere where Visa is accepted or make cash withdrawls from ATMs.

O2 have stated that they’ll put measures in place to stop ver kids from buying pornography, 18-certificate DVDs and alcohol online, and will seek parental approval before issuing the card. Every time one of ver kids carries out a transaction, they’ll receive a text to let them know how many sponds they’ve got left on their card.

We can forsee there being No Problems Whatsoever with this – what do youse all think?


  • Junkyard
    "Night-picnic"? Sounds dirty as hell, what is it?
  • Pizza_D_Action
    "or the drug overlords that the pre-teens are working for as playground pushers." Ha ha, quality!
  • Lumoruk
    What's with all the shitty spelling mistakes?
  • martyparty
    Visa are major sponsors of the London Olympics. Expect lots of innovations with the Visa on between now and then.
  • Gary g.
    This wangs chung.
  • shadow
    ye whats with all the wierd spelling
  • Trevor J.
  • Eddy
    i work for a mobile phone company (i wonder which one!) And this seems like a test in the water to move into the financial market. Speaking to some friends in Asia and mobile banking is ready to explode there and here in Europe. Its already taken off big time in Africa and South America where many people use it for daily banking over txt. its just a metter of time before we swipe our mobile phone pass the scanner in a shop to pay for goods under say £10 or £20 with no pin required.

What do you think?

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