New massagers from Holland & Barrett get the ladies coming

Stop somebody on the street and ask what Holland & Barrett are likely to sell. No, do it now. They'll probably say St John's Wort, Aloe Vera juice or cod liver oil - the sort of stuff that's sold in a brown bottle and sits on a bathroom shelf where it's forgotten about until you move house. Somewhere near the bottom of the list - items most right-minded people wouldn't consider these natural drug pushers to sell - would be tuppence ticklers for the ladies.

But this is the 21st Century, so now you can count on Holland & Barrett to stock intimate massagers. Two type are available, the telephone handset-shaped Womolia, and one that sounds like a brand of tampon - the Femblossom:

Holland & Barret's Phil Geary told Marketing that sexual health was one of its fastest growing categories, and added: "People are spending more time at home during these difficult economic times". The filthy beggars. Still, at £49.95 a poke, ladies may be better off sticking with the jet setting on their shower head.


  • Martha F.
    Nice 1, now I won't have to shag the Mrs, the bitch can do it herself, and she can pick one up after work and get a bottle of Wolf Cum and some sesame-snap while she's at it. Thanks BW, you've saved me again.
  • Nobby
    Their aussie licorice sticks are cheaper.
  • fat h.
    'at £49.95 a poke, ladies may be better off sticking with the jet setting on their shower head' Not if their water supply is metered. Talk about being f*cked by water!
  • Antique A.
    I recently "lost" one of these after accidentally falling backwards and sitting on it. I recommend these be fitted with a lead or cord so they aren't so easy to mislay.

What do you think?

Your comment