Move aside Halloween, the Lord is taking over 31st October

16 October 2012

As you’ve probably noticed from the shop displays, it’s Halloween in a couple of weeks’ time. But if you ask us, its days are seriously numbered. That’s because… here comes JESUSWEEN!


What’s it all about? Well… “In 2002, Pastor Paul Ade requested 300 copies of New Testament pocket size Bibles from the Bible Society to use for personal evangelism. A few days before Halloween, a word came to him to give out bibles to everyone knocking at his door expecting candy. On that day over 40 bibles were given out without him stepping out of his house. All it took was putting a bible into every bag as they opened each bag with a smile. It was much easier than expected and since then God kept on talking to Pastor Paul about how to help Gods people make use of the “Go Ye” instruction every October 31st and on major public holidays.”

So if you go trick or treating on the 31st, don’t be surprised if the good book is in your bag when you tip its contents out all over the floor in an act of naked greed. Pick it up, read it, and think about what that greed is doing to your soul. It’s ROTTING IT is what it’s doing.


  • Chewbacca
    I'm looking forward to muslimfest personally. What's it about? Well, demonstrating outrage over any minor pish and killing white people on a whim. Oh, and worshipping a fairy in the sky and Jimmy Savile. Well, they seem to like worshipping kiddy fidders, eh?
  • Idi A.
    "kiddy fidders"? Christ, this site gets worse daily.
  • Ho-john
    Sod that, when's "Fox-Fest" ? (with optional bumming, of foxes naturally)
  • Chewbacca
    @Idi Amin It’s not your fault you’re not down with yoofspeak. I was obviously meaning that they worship cool kids. Forgot to mention they also like to worship paedohphiles, but, bizarrely, don’t like to see pictures of him.
  • Chewbacca
    Oh, and @Idi Amin A typo isn't the same thing as using the wrong word. I bet you say brought instead of bought, you utter fucking cretin.
  • Shooter M.
    Perhaps the good Pastor should reflect that Hallowe'en actually means the day before All Saints Day, and therefore has something of a religious reference in it.
  • Can y.
    Muslimfest? Surely Allah-ween would be better?
  • Chewbacca
    ^bwah ha haaa!
  • bob
    Chewbacca is gay
  • Billy R.
    seen this first hand in Memphis, I tried to explain to the inbreds that it is a Pagan festival and nigh on caused a riot.
  • chewbacca
    @bob Sorry to disappoint and all, but I'm not. Judging by the quality of your "insult", you must be quite young, and have probably just "come out". Its nothing to be ashamed of, just make sure you play safe. I'm flattered that you find me so attractive from merely reading my considered comments, you're certainly a sensitive young chap. Good luck, and I hope it all works out for you!
  • bogbrush
    @Chewbacca Hi Mr Chewbacca. This is Bob's mom. He's at school right now. I'm gonna ask him to quit using my PC if he uses it to insult sentient extraterrestrial lifeforms again.
  • d7llu
    @the hairy unkept muff "I know a lot about kiddie fiddling, but I purposely misspell it so I don't get investigated" chewbacca why bring another religion into it? oh I see, you meant you were "looking forward to kiddiefest personally", but you didn't want to let your "big" not so very secret out. So you joined the bandwagon and used "Islam" and "muslims" as scapegoats
  • Dick
    What I need to know is when those huge space giants touch the earth, do their hands get wet? And do they kill people when they hold the earth, or does it just go dark?
  • chewbacca
    @d7llu (that's a strange autocorrect for dickhead...) You read too much into it in afraid. Paranoia is a sign that full blown AIDS is kicking in. Should've thought of that before taking it up the chuff for a fiver all those years ago. Sorry, just noticed another typo. I forgot to type. Ha ha ha lol you fucking cretin lolololssszzzz. Down to your level now to assist your understanding. Hth!!! :-):-):-)
  • d7llu
    @anti-Veet will fix it "if I can't, I will certainly have an opinion about it" chewbacca Granted, I may be a dickhead, I'll give you that one. a dick on my head I would rather have, but a hairy muff for a face, only you would be proud to be associated with A fiver to take it up the chuff, is that what you were paying the kiddies. tut-tut. No wonder you were looking forward to the kiddiefest Paranoia and AIDS, not heard of that combination before. it seem like an interesting analogy. I bet its what your dear ol' mother used to say Cretin - not too sure what this is...
  • Tom
    To be fair, I know the church near me goes round 'reverse trick or treating' whereby they give back sweets and cakes to the community, instead of asking for them back. No evangelism/talking about Jesus, just straight up kindness :)

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