Moonpig couldn't give a damn about your father, alright?
Fathers, eh? Nobody cares whether they contribute to the upbringing of children. All they're good for is intense lager-drinking in the family home, disappearing to the pub several nights a week and scaling Downing Street dressed as the Green Lantern. And Father's Day is nothing more than a cynical commercial ploy to cash in on the undeniable blood bond we feel with our second favourite parent.
At least that's what Moonpig think. They couldn't give a damn if Pops dragged his arse outside in sub-zero temperatures dressed as Santa Claus when you were four years old, or that he gave up watching The Krypton Factor final so you could see Return of the Jedi at the cinema. Father's are barely worth a second thought in the eyes of the gurning space-pork - less than eight minutes, anyway; Bitterwallet reader Scott received this from Moonpig yesterday:
"Got sent this by Moonpig today at 1.52pm," said Scott. "As you can see they're asking me to create and send my card before 2pm. I would have liked a bit more time to think about what I'd send to my dear old Dad on Fathers Day, a little longer than 7 minutes and 13 seconds anyway."
You heartless bastards, Moonpig. How could you?