Massive ice cream-related terror attack foiled in Glasgow shopping centre
The war against terror is a serious business and intelligence is one of our most powerful weapons. We need to be vigilant about any potential threat, no matter how small and insignificant it seems. You know, like little girls eating ice creams in shopping centres.
Fortunately, in the Braehead shopping centre near Scotland’s popular ‘Glasgow’, there is a security guard who is aware of the threat of the tiny girl-children. He recently approached the four-year-old child’s ‘father’ (probably some kind of terrorist operative codename) and insisted that he stop taking photographs of the girl as the ‘father’ did so as his ‘daughter’ (potential suicide bomber) sat and ate an ice cream. As you can see from the mobile phone snap in question, she is being incredibly well-behaved – reason enough to raise suspicion.
The ‘father’, who calls himself ‘Chris White’, said that the security guard told him that taking pictures in the shopping centre was illegal and that he should delete the pictures at once.
The police then became involved and ‘White’ also alleges that the an officer claimed that under the Prevention of Terrorism Act he was within in his rights to confiscate the mobile phone on which the potentially lethal pictures were taken. Sounds reasonable. After all, we can’t be too careful.
A spokesman for Braehead said…
“Staff at an ice cream stall in Braehead became suspicious after they saw a male shopper taking photographs at their counter. The staff thought the man had also been taking photographs of them and they alerted one of the centre's security staff.
The member of security staff approached the man and politely asked if he had been taking photographs. Because of the nature of the incident, police became involved and also spoke to the man. Our priority is always to maintain a safe and enjoyable environment for all of our shoppers and retailers. The member of our security staff acted in good faith.
We have a 'no photography' policy in the centre to protect the privacy of staff and shoppers and to have a legitimate opportunity to challenge suspicious behaviour if required. However, it is not our intention to - and we do not - stop innocent family members taking pictures.”
Thanks to the quick thinking of the security guard and the belt-and-braces policies of Braehead shopping centre, we can all sleep safely in our beds tonight. We trust that ‘Chris White’ and his ‘child’ are now being monitored around the clock by the SAS…