Man sues his bank for all the money, everywhere, ever.

26 September 2009

dollarsLet’s face it – there aren’t many of us who haven’t had some kind of unpleasant run-in with our bank. When you consider that we’re their customers and that their primary objective should supposedly be to serve us, the treatment some of us received from the people who we entrust our money with is nothing short of shocking.

In the USA, one man has had enough. That man is Dalton Chiscolm, who has sued his bank, the Bank of America. Why? Well, in the words of the judge who is hearing the case: “He seems to be complaining that he placed a series of calls to the bank in New York and received inconsistent information from a 'Spanish woman.’ He apparently alleges that cheques have been rejected because of incomplete routing numbers.”

Ooh, sounds serious. So how much would you think that would be worth, in terms of a lawsuit? Couple of hundred dollars to cover the inconvenience? Nope. Mr Chiscolm is suing the Bank of America for… drum roll… 1,784 billion, trillion dollars. Oh yes.

According to experts, whose words we’re more than happy to copy and paste, that’s larger than the almost erotic-sounding sextillion dollars (a 1 followed by 21 zeros.) Chiscolm is demanding the equivalent of a 1 followed by 22 digits.

Judge Chin, who is no stranger to gargantuan sums of money, having sentenced big fat fraudster Bernie Madoff to 150 Earth years in jail, has given Chiscolm until October 23rd to justify his claims – if he can’t, the lawsuit will be heading straight into the Chin bin.

Don’t expect to see this one run and run…


  • McBastard
    Madoff can suck my dick.
  • Tom P.
    Posted by McBastard | September 26th, 2009 at 3:11 pm "Madoff can suck my dick." Wait for your turn, he's already someones bitch in jail.
  • zeddy
    Fair play to Dalton. he's obviously a deluded, greedy twat.
  • Brian
    "Madoff can suck my dick" Hi, Brian here. Does it feel nice to have your penis "sucked" by another male?
  • mustafa
    @ Brian. I don't think so, he probably just closes his eyes and pretends Megan Fox is down there.... or maybe he is gay and enjoys a man sucking him off. who knows?
  • Antique A.
    Posted by Brian | September 26th, 2009 at 10:18 pm “Madoff can suck my dick” "Hi, Brian here. Does it feel nice to have your penis “sucked” by another male?" Nice? Heck ... Yes it does! That was easy to answer! What's the next question?

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