Kellogg's cutting Coco Pops sugar levels by... not much really

4 August 2010

cocopops

The Fun Prevention Officers have had their way once again – Kellogg’s are reducing the sugar content in four of their Coco Pops cereals by 15%.

It’s bad news for those of us you enjoy feeding your kids huge bowlfuls of the stuff before sitting back and watching them go batshit mental as a result of the cascading sugar rush, sometimes filming the resulting mayhem to put on YouTube.

But it’s probably good news for the kids themselves and people who make their living from broadcasting the myth that obesity is a bad thing. At present Coco Pops contain 35% sugar, but following the reduction, the level will go down to 29.75 %. Hang on – that’s still fucking LOADS! In fact it's double the amount recommended by the killjoy Boffins™ at the Food Standards Agency.

Here at Bitterwallet, we’re all in favour of keeping children healthy and stopping them from enjoying themselves. As such, we’re in talks with a host of breakfast cereal manufacturers about launching our new range of ‘Morning Jamies’ – a Jamie Oliver-shaped cereal made from chalk, cork and cement. No sugar and the kids are filled up for the whole day.

15 comments

  • mike
    Did you know Coco Chanel invented Coco Pops
  • bawbag
    Ahh Muesli Enhancers, tasty :-p
  • Monkey
    Coco Pops look like little pieces of shit and taste like little pieces of shit.
  • Nobby
    Do Morning Jamies make your kid talk like a mockney cunt?
  • IfYouCopyMyNameYouAreGayIsGay
    Looking down from miles on up in the sky, the Pakistani floods look like a bowl of coco pops.
  • Alex
    "Kellogg’s are reducing the sugar content in four of their Coco Pops cereals by 15%." "At present Coco Pops contain 35% sugar, but following the reduction, the level will go down to 29.75 %" 35-29.75 = a reduction of 5.25% not 15%
  • Stewie G.
    Alex, did you go to school?.... 35% - 15% = 29.75%
  • Tommy
    Alex: 15% of 35% is 5.25% Classic marketeers trick that one.
  • the f.
    cocopops=pebbledashed bowl
  • Mark
    Do Morning Jamies give your kids a fat tongue?
  • -]
    Definitely a classic marketeers trick. In reality they will be made up of 5% less sugar than before.
  • Rhinestone
    Morning Jamies sound awesome.
  • Josh
    "Definitely a classic marketeers trick. In reality they will be made up of 5% less sugar than before." No, the reduction of sugar is NOT 5%. It is 15% as the article says... With your logic, if they completely removed all sugar from the product then they would have reduced the sugar content by 35%.... erm.. no.
  • Stu
    Don't worry, like Lilt they'll soon realise that they can replace with Artificial Sweeteners which have been linked with heart problems and the like (not to mention that they apparently stimulate appetite in a similar way to MSG)
  • zeddy
    Fuck all that! Buy Rice Crispies and a 1kg block of Dairy Milk. Melt choc and pour over rice crispies. Eat immediately with no need for milk.

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