In the shops now! Mints freshen up parts only ladies can reach

26 October 2009

Where to start with this one. They're mints, they're called Linger, and they're for ladies to slap up their tuppence to improve the smell and taste:
Bitterwallet - Linger. Mints for the fanny.

"Linger Internal Feminine Flavoring, was created to flavor the woman in such a manner that is safe and effective, decreases self consciousness, and increases excitement. It improves the length and quality of oral sex between a woman and her intimate partner.

"A small, naturally sweetened flavoring, free of artificial dyes, which was created to flavor the secretions of a woman when she is sexually aroused. Linger is shaped for comfort during insertion and use, and is formulated to dissolve slowly, so the effects last and last…"

Do they work? Christ knows. Here's a testimonial from some American bath dodger:

"My husband always tried to rush through oral, but wanted me to take my time on him. With Linger, he happily initiates and really enjoys it. Now, so can I!”

How wonderful. Except we can't find any information or certification on their site regarding the possible health hazards of sticking sweets up your fu-fu. There's a good reason for that, as Mother Jones discovered:

"A little digging revealed that Linger is made/distributed by a company called Admints, which just happens to make trade show mints. And the Linger samples just happen to have have the exact same shape, taste, and ingredients as Admint's sample mints. So how does Linger manage to pass off breath mints as vaginal Tic Tacs?

"The mint is labeled "for novelty use only." This is a common practice in the sex-products industry, explains Charlie Glickman, the education program manager at Good Vibrations. It gives manufacturers some cover if something goes awry, he explains. "They could say, 'It's just a novelty toy. You weren't actually expecting to use this were you?'" And if you actually do expect to use Linger to "flavor the woman in a manner that is safe and effective," be warned: its primary ingredient is sugar, which is not safe for the vagina. It messes up the pH and can lead to a really painful yeast infection..."

Ouch. Maybe stick to Mr Big Rabbit, then.

[Mother Jones] via [Consumerist]


  • KC
  • Matt
    assumes that you would prefer the taste of mint
  • Ash
    "American bath dodger" Haha, Love that!
  • NitPic
    Now, mints that taste of fu-fu - I'll have a tonne!
  • pauski
    I can see those marketing campains already... If your a minger, pop in a Linger, refreshing and sweetens your cum., Be certain to enter in the the proper place, as you don't want a minty bum.
  • TeflonMan
    Suck it and see ...
  • Mike B.
    The look on the Wife's face when she read that was priceless!!!
  • iCock
    I tried one and my jap's eye is burning like fuck!!
  • Duaine D.
    Finally they've caught on with a female version. For a long time now I've been using the liquorice stick from a sherbert fountain up my japs eye to heighten the pleasure for my partner.
  • eddiex
    If my wife stuck a Greggs sausage roll up her fanny I'd linger to the last bit of pastry.
  • SheepySheep
    I'll stick to Scampi & Lemon NikNak flavour
  • zeddy
    Fanny mints is it? You know where you can stick them.
  • antonis
    hahahah anyone remember POONTOS? NSFW link:
  • BOB
    LOL @ paulski
  • Ten B.
    [...] kind of mint you probably won’t fancy sucking on for too [...]
  • Wonky H.
    Yay to Zeddy! btw, while I'm here. Do the mints look like penises ?
  • Darren
    @Zeddy, I find that very offensive, as someone once said: zeddy • April 5, 2012 at 4:09 pm There are quite a few wankers who think their retorts are funner than the articles. as he said... FAIL

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