How many animals has YOUR postman killed with his rubber bands today?

21 February 2011

A-ball-made-of-red-rubber-001

That Royal Mail eh? What are they like? Not content with winning Bitterwallet’s Worst Company in Britain 2009 award, it now emerges that they’ve thrown away £5 million on to the streets of the nation over the past half-decade.

Well, at least that’s the hysterical way of looking at it. But new figures have shown that our posties get through two million of those red rubber bands every single DAY, with a large number of them tossed to the ground like useless… erm, oysters, or something.

The Royal Mail has forked out almost £5 million on four billion of the rubber bands over the past five years, and there are now fears that they are a threat to the environment. Normally, we measure environmental damage by the number of penguins that are killed, but we think that our beautiful waddling friends have been largely untouched by this crisis so far.

But Keep Britain Tidy! say that the red rubber bands were found on eight per cent of streets that they surveyed in a survey they did – making them more prevalent on our pavements in 2011 than actual dogshit. Not only that, there is a fear that animals could eat them and die. Stupid animals.

In their defence, the Royal Mail have said that the rubber bands they use are biodegradable, so if you see one vanish before your very eyes, that’s what that is. We were doing some sarcasm just then, in case you weren’t sure.

[BBC]

19 comments

  • Marky M.
    I think it's Keep Britain Tidy? not Keep Britain Tidy!
  • The B.
    Yeah, I read it in the Times yesterday too, nicely nicked and not referenced though, how about saying the info was provided from a request under FOI by the Times at the very least?
  • Andy D.
    The BBC story that I sourced it from (as credited at the bottom of the story) says it was the Telegraph that put in the FOI request as opposed to The Times. Thanks for playing though.
  • The B.
    Either I misread it or the Times implied it was their FOI request, either way you still didn't credit it, thanks for ignoring my actual point though.
  • Andy D.
    Have you written to The Times as well?
  • PokeHerPete
    You never have these kind of problems in the Daily Star.
  • Paul S.
    Oddly, nobody kicks up as much of a fuss when journalists at both the BBC and Telegraph cut and paste stories from Bitterwallet and publish them without attribution or credit.
  • Mark T.
    Yeah, like that would really happen...
  • Paul S.
    Fah, yeah! Like that would really happe- http://www.bitterwallet.com/dsgi-staff-attack-customers-on-facebook-sleep-with-them-on-myspace/17706 http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8241509.stm http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/facebook/6142816/Currys-and-PC-World-staff-to-be-investigated-after-abusing-customers-on-Facebook.html Or http://www.bitterwallet.com/tube-breaks-down-so-does-platform-announcer-at-farringdon/22633 http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/road-and-rail-transport/6787636/Tube-announcer-advises-passengers-to-consider-shooting-themselves.html
  • The B.
    As I said, either I misread/misremembered it (more than likely) or they simply implied it, I'd need to dig the paper out of the recycling to do it, thus I haven't written to them and more than likely won't as I can't be arsed to dig out yesterdays paper. Tsk, naughty them if they've stolen the Torygraph's thunder, journalists without integrity eh? What next?
  • Mark T.
    [Fah, yeah!] Well, I can't speak for The Telegraph but that article concerning the Farringdon tube does link back to Bitterwallet - look at the hyperlink under "running commentary"? Regarding the DSGi Facebook story from 2009, I think that it is a little long to be harbouring a grudge over a coincidence, to be honest.
  • The B.
    Actually, I hadn't checked that but yes, the Torygraph article on DSGi also credits BW and links to the original page.
  • Andy D.
    Ha ha! This is all beginning to remind me slightly of the film Spartacus. Except that instead of being about one man's struggle against oppression, it's just a bunch of knobheads wanking on about fuck all. Thanks for playing!
  • Paul S.
    Mark Thompson / The Real Bob - both stories were originally published without credits; it was only after publicly pointing out they were thieving bastards that they acquiesced. Mark - you're the one who doubted the claim, which is why I presented an article from 2009. Sober up.
  • Dick
    Back to the original question. >How many animals has YOUR postman killed with his rubber bands today? Not enough.
  • Dick
    I would love to see my postman twang next doors dog to death with red elastic bands. I cannot decide whether it should be by repeatedly twanging him in the face with one, or by joiing loads together and catapulting him into the side of the delivery van. Either way, it provided me with a little wanking fantasy for 10 minutes.
  • wOnKeY H.
    I'm on a pig.
  • Dick
    Kill it? With rubber bands?
  • The B.
    Paul, thanks for clarifying. Andy, that basically surmises 90% of your articles.

What do you think?

Connect with Facebook, Twitter, or just enter your email to sign in and comment.

Your comment