HMV bring in new appearance code in attempt to smarten up staff

24 October 2012

flag tattoo man

Do you give a toss about the appearance of the person that serves you when you go into a shop? If you do, then HMV is the place for you – that’s because the company’s top brass have decreed that new staff appearance guidelines are what is needed in the latest attempt to stop the famous high street name from sliding into oblivion.

Employees have been told they need to clean up their acts, with men wearing blue denim jeans and women sporting denim skirts. Maybe they’ll be doing some line dancing behind the counter…

They have also been told that ‘high standards of personal grooming’ are expected – ‘discreet’ tattoos and piercings are allowed but ‘extreme body art’ must be removed or covered up. No more swastikas on foreheads then.

Worst of all, flip-flops and open-toed sandals are BANNED. One worker ‘told The Sun’, ‘We’ve got new management. It’s ridiculous and discrimination’.

Is it? Is it really? Or should we be able to buy our overpriced earphones without having to look at some fruitcake with a massive hole in his earlobe and a picture of the Michelin man tattooed on his cheek? Over to you…

17 comments

  • Michael J.
    I can hear death knells sounding.
  • Expendable B.
    Ah yes, Company slides into the shitter due to corporate mis-handling and incompetence from the district manager level upwards? Why of course, let's bash the lowest-level staff. That'll fix it. Durrp. Capitalism is a joke. Hang all capitalists. Hang all Tories.
  • Mustapha S.
    I think they have bigger problems than what fat Janice looks like on the till.
  • Prince D.
    What an idiot thinking that "flip-flops and open-toed sandals are BANNED" because management are discriminating against the tramps. It has just as much to corporate image as it down health and safety.
  • Chester
    The staff do look like college dropouts though. Terrible place to shop.
  • Fat J.
    I bet C.E.X staff are quaking in their boots!
  • Cheesey
    More management fuckwitism. They are addressing minutae rather than the fundamental problems with HMV. Why do we not shop at HMV? Because the stores are crammed full of shite that no-one wants, you can barely walk down an aisle, pricing is all wrong. Price it at or within a few quid of the supermarkets and you might get a sale from me.
  • Sicknote
    From what I've seen at my local Moorgate branch the prices have been slashed to almost Amazon levels and the staff couldn't be more helpful. In fact over the past 3 weeks I've made more purchases than I made in the last 3 years.
  • catweazle
    Hmmm, this smacks of rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic as it slips serenely beneath the waves.
  • Yue
    So the last of the decent management left and someone just made a massive mistake with this decision. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Goodbye HMV, was good knowing you.
  • Ivor H.
    In retaliation, the CEX board have insisted their employees wash at least once a fortnight
  • Ray
    You should see the guy at the Leeds HMV, it looks like he stretched his ear lobes to allow a 2 litre bottle of coke to rest in them and then had a sudden change of heart. He now wears thick pirate earrings which are so heavy they pull his ridiculously stretched earlobes down to his shoulders. It's quite a sight.
  • chewbacca
    @ray Yes, I've seen similar a few times. People, in the folly of their youth, think things like earlobe holes, piercings and tattoos are cool then live to regret it in later life. Tattoos - for convicts, pirates and soldiers. Not for 17 year old chavs who'll invariably have 5 kids by the ripe old age of 19. Tattoos are simply a easy way to identify scum. Simple.
  • Expendable B.
    Don't say "chav" or "scum", you fucking petit-bourgeois piece of shit. What the fuck is wrong with you?
  • Mike C.
    Yep Chav is so offensive and quite clearly incorrect, please use scally, mucker, fuckwit, layabout, bone idle knob or tax scrounger is future it is a much more correct description of the scum/chav bastards :-)
  • Andrew
    I believe competition on the intenet rather than staff attire should be the focus of the HMV board... idiots.
  • ted c.
    HMV are missing the point. Most of their stores have staff with tattoos and such like. So what if customers get offended by a overweight member of staff. Do they then ban staff being overweight and weigh them each week before they start work and then sack all the "fat" ones. Of course not the whole tattoo thing all started because the new boss saw some staff he found offensive and off putting.

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