Great news for posh burger lovers everywhere

Finally there is an answer to that age-old problem of how to eat a burger properly. Don’t laugh – there are far, far easier things to do, like change a light bulb with your teeth or inflate a pair of tights without the help of an electrical pump.

No matter how delicately you approach the job, there’s an inevitability that by the end of your burger-gorging session, pieces of salad and gloops of mayonnaise will have tried to escape out of the end of the bun furthest away from you.

All that is in the past now – if you’re a bit posh. Swanky, high end restaurants will no doubt soon be full of people eating their burgers aided by the CHOMPr, this spring-loaded device fashioned from the finest walnut and designed to let you enjoy your cow sandwich with dignity instead of shame.

From where we’re sitting, it looks as though it’ll also double up as a stage for tiny actors and actresses made from pipe cleaners. Beautiful beautiful beautiful…


  • SJT
    oh dear.....
  • Juan K.
    I have a similar contraption to inspect my turds with
  • spungbob
    re Juan Kerr I use my CHOMPr for eating posh burgers AND turd inspection - i love multi-function devices!
  • a47
    So do I! We must get together to discuss this .... I has perfected the art so well that I can do one after the other in quick succession (but I won't say which comes first)
  • juankerr
    I just get my butler to hold mine for me. Maybe I should ask him to hold my burger too...
  • pip
    What will they think of next! Seriously guys, tell me...
  • Marko
    Or could be a posh pooper scooper for dogs as well,pre-loaded with plastic bags!!!
  • Andy D.
    @pip - we think it'll be sausages with tomato ketchup already inside them.

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