For sale: disused fort
Ideally situated for either an evil empire looking to step up the bomb-proof fort ladder, or as a base for ILLEGAL RAVING.
Sitting off the coast of the Isle of Grain in Medway, Kent, at £500,000, it's a bit of a snip for a London address, and what an address: No.1, The Thames. Imagine the hassle the poor postie will have.
Quite the definition of 'needs work', the estate agent RiverHomes reckons it could be renovated into a seven bedroom mansion, and there's potential for a swimming pool to be built in the fort's gun turrets hole.
The current owner Simon Cooper, a builder from south-east London, reckoned it had become a bit of a palaver. "I purchased it and it just didn't work out well as a home - plus the cost of doing it," he told the BBC.
Apparently there's been interest from all over the world since it went on the market, so no doubt some Russian is eyeing it up as a nightclub for arseholes.