Footballer for sale. Three not-so-careful owners. Likes horses and treatment tables.
Fancy buying a footballer? Here’s that brochure advertising the used-to-be-great Michael Owen in full.
Come on, we could all club together and buy him for Bitterwallet. He’s bound to choose us over Hull City.
Bet he's glad he won't be wearing Newcastle's new 'bananas and custard' away kit though...