Estate agent wants to kill penguins with illegal lightbulbs
Yesterday we reported on the demise of the 100 watt lightbulb, which is slowly disappearing from shops’ shelves for good. But one man has spotted a gap in the market and is poised to make it big once the powerful bulbs become as rare as hen’s teeth. Plus, he’s an estate agent by day, so you can trust what he says!
He’s Jules Bending (crazy name, crazy guy) and he has been stockpiling thousands of the bulbs in a secret location near the Mendip Hills. Jules’ logic is that once Old Hundred Watty disappears for good, naysayers of energy saving will gladly pay him his asking price for a single 100 watt bulb. And his asking price? Why it's between £40 and £60 of course!
On trade website EstateAgentToday, Bending is quoted as saying: "Everybody hates an estate agent: the horrible suit, the nasty jargon. If you introduce a note of humour people seem to like that. They trust us. And trust is the holy grail."
No Jules. We’ll never trust estate agents. You’ll never make us laugh. Ever. Apart from when the credit crunch forces you out of business. We’ll always hate all estate agents Jules. Especially you. You’re a twat. Now do one.