END OF DAYS
Remember that stupid grizzled orange sack of human flesh who was arrested for encouraging her kid to come with her to the tanning salon - even though her daughter was only 6 years old? Patricia Krentcil of New Jersey was charged with child endangerment when the kid turned up to school with terrible sunburn, but the charges were dropped.
But instead of learning that you don’t fry children under cancertastic UV tubes, she’s released a music video under the name ‘Tan Mom.’ And it’s the WORST MUSIC VIDEO EVER.
Internet culture really is a suppurating stinkhole of crap at the best of times, but Tan Mom will make you eat your own FACE with embarrassment. Embarrassment that you belong to the human race, and that you live in the same universe as Tan Mom, who looks like a discarded chip wrapper in a Rick Parfitt wig. If you could go back to the beginning and just not be born, that would be better than watching Tan Mom writhing around in a bikini and ‘singing’ like an autotuned bull mastiff.
Released by gossip channel and black void of moral doom TMZ, Tan Mom’s video is an attempt to launch her as a celebrity in the same vein as Octomom and Teen Mom. Instead, it is a low point in history on a par with the Holocaust. In fact, this video is a source of such great shame to humanity that we may as well all just throw ourselves on a burning pyre.
I urge you to end it all now – before she makes a sex tape. No wait - she kind of is.