Remember that stupid grizzled orange sack of human flesh who was arrested for encouraging her kid to come with her to the tanning salon - even though her daughter was only 6 years old? Patricia Krentcil of New Jersey was charged with child endangerment when the kid turned up to school with terrible sunburn, but the charges were dropped.

But instead of learning that you don’t fry children under cancertastic UV tubes, she’s released a music video under the name ‘Tan Mom.’ And it’s the WORST MUSIC VIDEO EVER.

Internet culture really is a suppurating stinkhole of crap at the best of times, but Tan Mom will make you eat your own FACE with embarrassment. Embarrassment that you belong to the human race, and that you live in the same universe as Tan Mom, who looks like a discarded chip wrapper in a Rick Parfitt wig. If you could go back to the beginning and just not be born, that would be better than watching Tan Mom writhing around in a bikini and ‘singing’ like an autotuned bull mastiff.

Released by gossip channel and black void of moral doom TMZ, Tan Mom’s video is an attempt to launch her as a celebrity in the same vein as Octomom and Teen Mom. Instead, it is a low point in history on a par with the Holocaust. In fact, this video is a source of such great shame to humanity that we may as well all just throw ourselves on a burning pyre.

I urge you to end it all now – before she makes a sex tape. No wait - she kind of is.


  • SJ
    Thanks, I need to bleach my eyes now
  • Michael
    Hi Lucy, normally I really appreciate your humour, really brings a smile to my day. However, comparing the video to the Holocaust has overstepped the mark massively. Can I politely suggest you gen up a bit more on the Holocaust as a subject and replace it with immediate effect by some other comparable. Bad taste gone really bad I'm afraid and really quite dismissive and offensive. Just a thought, freedom of speech or not.
  • Justin A.
    I think from previous articles we've established that Lucy is in her early 20's and therefore thinks that she's often being radical and edgy. In addition to having an inappropriate surname.
  • shiftynifty
    Well Lucy, you really surpassed yourself there, comparing it to the holocaust..I bet as soon as you posted you realised oh shit.....as someone has quoted...I suggest you need to gen up on the holocaust and rephrase that sentence...like yesterday...because the shit storm that`ll come your way will not bear thinking about...
  • oliverreed
    Aren't you lot sensitive.
  • SJ
    Oh for fucks sake - comparing this video to the holocost is satiric hyperbole. Anyone who takes something serious (or lacking in knowledge) from such a throwaway comment really needs to get over themselves...
  • shiftynifty
    Oliverreed...SJ...Want to tell the victims of the holocaust or their families that they need to get over themselves or too sensitive...
  • oliverreed
    Why shifynifty are they here reading this blog?
  • Justin A.
    They might be soon enough, if this goes viral, 'Ollie'.
  • Clunge
    Wow. I kinda agreed that the comments about the holocaust were probably a bit OTT. Until I saw the video. Shit the bed, I really hope that video is a pisstake and not a genuine attempt to get famous as a 'pop'star.
  • LancerVancer
    Well you can now be a wannabe fucktard by harming your kids. Rylan, Amy Childs and any of the other countless twats from TOWIE, MIC or Celeb Big Brother. They are bad enough, this just takes the vapid fucktard wannabe biscuit. Just off to rub bleach in my sons eyes hopefully it will bag me a sponcership deal with Nike. Weed!!!!
  • oliverreed
    @Justin Manchester AfterDark "if this goes viral" - the video might do, this blog won't.
  • Lord S.
    @Oliverreed The only way anything on this blog is going viral is when Mof or Lucy catch VD

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