Do not desire these women. They are not real.

8 December 2011

31a4334b134ca13897502734d510699f Here’s a group of sultry young temptresses who appear in ads for H&M’s range of bikinis. But if you’re a man or a lesbian, you should think twice before storing these images in ‘the bank’ – that’s because their bodies don’t exist.

Their heads are real, but the bodies are computer-generated and completely fictional, designed by body boffins capable of making clothes look better on ‘humans’ than actual humans themselves can (if that makes any sense).

Become aroused by these women and you might as well get your rocks off to a picture of Metal Mickey or Marge Simpson. IT’S EXACTLY THE SAME THING.

20 comments

  • MickeyLover
    Mmmmm, Metal Micket, hubbahubba!
  • Dick
    Nothing is real on the internet anyway.
  • Mike H.
    Awesome! Interchangeable women! I fancy Indian tonight, Saturday nights I like to taste some Chinese.
  • Dory
    Yes, fap to Nuts instead, those women are as real as it gets.
  • @hill79
    Tip for the H&M Photoshoppers - its unlikely that even one of the models will have a weird black 'web' between their ring-finger and middle-finger, let alone all 4. Freaky bints.
  • qwertyuiop
    Actually, the heads are probably fake too. The male ones certainly are anyway.
  • Jerec
    Is that not classed as False Advertising?
  • Captain C.
    I hate to be the one to tell you, but there are people out there who dream of rumpy pumpy with Marge Simpson. (personally, I always used to lust after "Daria", from the cartoon series of the same name. And merely thinking of that fact reminds me that the 2012 Olympic Games logo is an image of Lisa Simpson performing oral sex on an unknown cartoon character.
  • klingelton
    I'd wreck lois griffin.
  • Bender
    The 1-eyed bitch from Bananarama. No, wait, I meant Futurama. She'd get my 1-eye ;)
  • Dick
    You don't just have to dream about it, you can watch it if you know where to find it. I particularly like the one where Lisa is getting banged by Milhouse, who then finishes in Marge the MILF.
  • Jeremy
    I like the heads.
  • klingelton
    it'd be a kick in the fanny if you were those models who'd had your face photoshopped onto some bint with a better body than yours. best get back on your diets, you're all too fat, fatties!
  • Brandon H.
    They could have at least made the effort to cgi a seperate body for each model, not use the same one 4 times and add a bit of brown to one of em.
  • blagga
    thanks a fucking bundle Andy, now I have to wipe the imaginary spunk off my screen.
  • Jo
    They are like this for a reason, not necessarily to mislead. Users who shop regularly on the site would probably know why. There's actually a section called 'dressing room' which is a virtual way of allowing you to mix and match items from the site together to create a complete outfit which is made possible because of the standard pose the stock photos use. Since you can't try garments on when shopping online, I guess it was pretty smart of H&M to try to provide an alternative method of previewing the items together before purchasing.
  • Spunky
    Mmm, that's very interesting! I went on the virtual dressing room and gave them all pearl necklaces.
  • Raggedy
    Anyone ever seen Animalympics? Cartoon film using animals as the athletes. There's a lioness or possibly poodle in running shorts that will leave you drooling from some part of your body. And do I need to mention Jessica Rabbit? Wilma Flintsone? Betty Rubble? Penelope Pitstop? Daphne from Scooby Doo? Jordan? All cartoon characters worth a punt!
  • Dick
    Don't forget Taffy Dare, one of the Teen Angels from Captain Caveman. Zowie.
  • Me
    Every woman from He-man and She-ra series. The girls from Sailoor moon!

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