Deathwatch: Mothercare to close even more stores

12 April 2012

retail deathwatch Babies are meant to be nurtured so that they grow and grow and grow. Sadly, baby stuff retailer Mothercare is doing the opposite at the moment, with another round of store closures just announced.

Last May they said they’d be cutting their store numbers from 373 to 266 by March 2013 – now they’ve revised that figure and are saying that there’ll be only 200 Mothercares left by March 2015.

The news was lumped in with the announcement of a 6.2% drop in like-for-like sales in the UK in the year to the end of March. For the fourth quarter, UK like-for-like sales were down 8.2%. Grim times for the high street stalwart.

However, they say that their international operation is all going swimmingly, although we’ve got no way of verifying that as none of us have ever been abroad and operate out of a hermetically-sealed pod situated 50 metres below the earth’s surface.

Good luck Mothercare – you’re going to need it!


  • Mike H.
    GOOD! Mothers will be able to spend less of my money on their 4 scroaty little shites.
  • Mary H.
    Mike's right, mothers spend shit loads on their little scroats, it's our money they are spending on fancy fucking push chairs that will be used once! Fucking whores!
  • Massive C.
    Yeah, fucking whore mothers! However, I'm going to hang on till they have a massive closing down sale and spend all your hard earned taxes on shite for my 12 kids, you fucking tits!
  • oliverreed
    Spending vouchers today, gift vouchers, not the aid vouchers the 3 morons above mention.
  • Borg
    We think you will find that 'the 3 morons above' are one moron.
  • Mike H.
    You see, that's the kind of gratitude you get for paying for people's children. Fuck you.
  • samuri
    i don't Mother(fucking)Care
  • Commander D.
    I can't have children you twats.
  • Lore
    You can have children Data - you're fully functional. I had children only yesterday but then again I am a baddy.
  • Fantastic F.
    Cant wait to buy a carkoon and start chucking bricks at babies. Hopefully Mothercare will still be in business once they get the carkoon to market.
  • Paul
    Mother Fucker?
  • Jerec
    Funny how its the stores that charge the higher prices for items that are closing....
  • Capability B.
    Now i've had 'the op' can I have children too?

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