Crabs for sale - and not the kind you can make a nice soup with
Thanks to avid Bitterwallet reader 'sprout' we've been introduced to one of the most disturbing consumer offerings out there – from CrabRevenge.com a packet of pubic lice that you can sneakily infest a cheating partner with. Mmm… classy.
It's sort of like sea monkeys but with a devastating twist. Send off for a sachet of the crabs and surreptitiously smuggle them into the bed or even the undercrackers of your piece of shit boyfriend or girlfriend. Within days they'll be riddled with lice and you'll be laughing your way back to Singlesville having just downed a foaming tankard filled with essence of revenge.
Prices start at just £13.99 for a sachet of the bog-standard lice and rise to £34.99 for what the sellers describe as 'Super Crabs', explaining that: "These crabs are almost impossible to get rid of and have been through over a year of selective lab breeding to be the most aggressive and most reproductive species on the planet!" Hurrah!
What's the odds that before the end of the year, David Cameron and/or Nick Clegg are deploying these against each other?
UPDATE: We just tried to buy some pubic lice, er, purely for research, only to get an error message at the 'add to basket' stage. The same thing happens at a similar site, www.revengecrabs.com. Which means that it's all a load of big fakey bollocks. Sorry folks.
It made you all think though didn't it? No? Oh...