Competition time! Play Fantasy CEO and win!*

20 February 2009

Many of us feel we could do better than the corporate swines running our high streets into the floor right now. Open a shop, sell some stuff, look after the customers, sell more stuff - everyone's a winner. How hard can it be? It's not rocket science, now is it?

Well obviously it is, because not only are familiar high street names going to hell in a hand basket, but nobody can think of any good names to replace them with. If you thought Zavvi was a stinker, wait til you hear what they'll be called soon.

Zavvi's former chief executive Simon Douglas has bought eight of the former Zavvi stores, including those at Bluewater, Dundee, Leeds and the Arndale Centre in Manchester. The stores are likely to be similar to Zavvi, since the trade press reports that they'll be selling stock acquired as part of the deal.

And so the name of this new chain of high-street entertainment retailers? Can you guess?


The jokes are endless, but suffice to say you are going to get Head on the high street very soon. Be honest - as names go, it's bollocks. And this is where you come in. If you had a chain of music, dvd and games stores across the UK, what name would you give them? Be creative! there a prize* on offer for the best!

* no actual prize on offer, although Andy may make you some Ready Brek if you ask nicely


  • The T.
    Given this guys score so far I'd go with : "On a Wing and a Prayer", think with a nice logo of winged praying hands "OaWaaP" would look just as good as Zavvi on the signs...
  • MBeeching
    How about 'Last Chance Saloon'?
  • Pizza_D_Action
    I would call it "Planet" Then each section could be called "Planet Games", "Planet Music" Tag line "Planet, its out of this world" Whats my prize?
  • Geoff J.
    How about the name: The Hanging Sacks Goddamnit, I want my Ready Brek
  • jaysexy212005
    I would call it Priceless Entertainment
  • Dan
    How about: Hmm... it's like HMV but more questionable.
  • Ows
    I'd have to call it "Bankrupt". After all, I may as well pre-empt failure, as barely anyone buys physical music anymore!
  • darren w.
    I would call it HOOMV, like on fonejacker when he calls and asks for HMV on oxford street but the lady cant find the name for HOOMV and so she asks him to spell it H-M-V, HOOMV!!! they could sell DOOVDS (D-V-Ds) or PUSPS (P-S-P) AND LICKUDA TUV( L-C-D TV'S) So they you have it the new HOOMV stores!!
  • Ian P.
    Second Time
  • chrisg.
    Head reminds me of shitty fake leather sports bags with a zip off end in the 80s. I would call my fantasy store "Woolies". Bound to do well.
  • paul
    id open one next door and call it Shoulders, knees and toes knees and toes!!
  • Exactly
    Sloppy seconds
  • arabella
  • bob
    How about vivaz or vaviz?
  • spongebob
    Map. Goes in lots of directions and easy to fold. Tag line.. lose yourself in map.
  • cheapskate
    Our Price Music
  • Blarghhh
    First of all, sloppy seconds is a store from saints row... or gta, i forget My name would be "puzzles" people would come in thinking why it is called puzzles. Then in the midst of all their confusion they would purchase the crappy stock for extortionate prices.... I mean buy Zavvi stock
  • Craig
    Please, We're Starving!
  • Grant
    I'd call it - We Were Failing Long Before EUK Went Bust.
  • juliette
    i would call it ....4 rockers
  • owen
    so none of you can actually come up with a poper name huh? just a load of petty bitching. just shows the difference between people who complain about stuff and people who go out there and get it done. you can say what you like about the old zavvi name but the fact is it was actually on track to get back into the black stuff in a few years before euk ballsed it up. it's a real shame what's happened, especially with so many people losing their jobs. before you lay into thisnew place why not think about the jobs it will create/save in these difficult times, take off the sarcy pants and go and make your own contribution. good luck
  • Liddle m.
    How about Purple Acid?
  • james
    To owen: get over it, this is a light hearted comments page.
  • Dan
    "Zavving a Laugh"
  • Al R.
    It always needs to remind shoppers of what they sell Tracks
  • Liddle m.
    Did I win? And what's the actual prize I won't be getting?
  • Irate P.
    Oh dear Owen, you really don't have a clue do you? Sorry to get serious for a moment but the facts are these. EUK went under partly beacause of Zavvi and not the other way around. Zavvi racked up debts of £109 million with EUK over a trading period of a mere 15 months. "Chavvi" then went into administration on Xmas eve with over £4 millions worth of their own gift-tokens in the hands of customers who were immediately told they could not redeem them (despite the stores trading well into the New Year). Then, for a song, Simon Douglas (the "Head" of "Zavvi") bought all the remaining stock of the company that he'd just led to bankrupcy . He has now taken a handful of the shops back ON VERY SHORT-TERM LEASES. It doesn't take Einstein to work out that this stock will be cleared as quickly as possible for as much money as possible. Then try finding Head on the High Street!It's most certainly a shame that so many hard-working staff lost their jobs but I'd seriously advise Douglas's current staff to look around for any other employment PDQ and not await the inevitable. Also, in the unlikely event I ever shop there, I'll definitely steer well clear of their gift-tokens. In "The Wire" (TV's finest ever show) there's a wonderful phrase which goes..."That's some shameful sh*t". It could've been written for Simon Douglas!

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