Commercial Break: Plastic backside-cleaning utensil is a bum deal
Here’s an ad for another mail-order product that beggars belief – the Comfort Wipe. It’s a contoured plastic device which will grip a sheet of toilet paper, allowing you to wipe your jacksie without having to put your hands anywhere remotely near the offending area.
So your hands can stay clean and germ-free after leaving the bathroom but God only knows what kind of state the Comfort Wipe will be in after a few days’ use. It certainly looks as though it could take someone a few aborted attempts to figure out how to use it properly.
Anyway, what the hell’s wrong with cleaning your backside with a rag on a stick? Eh? Or dropping your business outdoors like a dog then picking it up with a plastic bag? Fuck this, we’re off to do a poo at Paul’s...