Commercial Break: Plastic backside-cleaning utensil is a bum deal

Here’s an ad for another mail-order product that beggars belief – the Comfort Wipe. It’s a contoured plastic device which will grip a sheet of toilet paper, allowing you to wipe your jacksie without having to put your hands anywhere remotely near the offending area.

So your hands can stay clean and germ-free after leaving the bathroom but God only knows what kind of state the Comfort Wipe will be in after a few days’ use. It certainly looks as though it could take someone a few aborted attempts to figure out how to use it properly.

Anyway, what the hell’s wrong with cleaning your backside with a rag on a stick? Eh? Or dropping your business outdoors like a dog then picking it up with a plastic bag? Fuck this, we’re off to do a poo at Paul’s...

[Buzz Feed]


  • Francis R.
    Which hand do you use to wipe your arse?
  • Tom P.
    I've got a butler to wipe my arse, so this product does not interest me.
  • Amanda H.
    Christmas present for your butler then.
  • The B.
    My missus felches mine.
  • The B.
    Actually, that doesn't work does it? She'd have to have semen to do that.
  • Francis R.
    Perhaps, she HAS, Bob?
  • eddiex
    In days of old when men were bold and paper wasn't invented They rubbed there arse upon the grass And went away contented
  • Francis R.
    edd is this where the term 'ass' comes from then?
  • The E.
    ha ha the post / item and the above comments ! x
  • Smack D.
    What a crock of shite!
  • Gus
    Don't they have bidets in America?
  • eddiex
    Could be Francis.When I think of the above playground diitty I always imagine a knight in half a suit of armour,visor down,dragging his arse along the grass like a dog with worms.
  • Mike U.
    Ladies could use this as a vibrator when they go for a number 1 Shit No, that'll mean more time hogging the bathroom FUCK!!
  • acecatcher3
    dont u just hate it tho when the toilet paper misses and ur hand connects with your bum....its a rare occasion but has happened a fair few times to me.
  • Song B.
  • Amanda H.
    ace, sure it happens to me all time. My boss at Mc D's has the same problem. The kids just love their happy meals though.

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