Commercial Break: It's a rave from the grave but the Scotch guarantee won't die

There’s been a lot of hoo-hah and kefuffle over the fact that we’re celebrating the 20th anniversary of the arrival of Wallace & Gromit into our lives. Frankly, we couldn’t give a toss – the old man’s a prick and the dog’s a sly, self-serving arsehole.

There – you probably won’t read opinions like that everywhere else. Of course, W&G were created by Aardman Animations, and we reckon they’d shot their bolt long before the chummy clay fools pitched up. For us, they’ve never beaten Peter Gabriel’s Sledgehammer video and this advert for Scotch video tapes, starring a posh skellington covering Buddy Holly’s Not Fade Away. Actually, it was the last song that the bequiffed rocker ever performed before his death, so maybe the skellington is supposed to Holly himself.

Incidentally, if you’re wondering if the Scotch video tape lifetime guarantee is still in place, it seems that it is. Blogger Ian Mansfield contacted Scotch in 2008 to ask them what would happen if someone wanted to return a tape that had degraded in quality. He says:

“While Scotch itself ceased to sell VHS tapes over 10 years ago – the company will still honour that ages-old guarantee and if you past (sic) an old tape to them, they will send you a free BASF tape as a replacement.”

Hooray for Scotch… and singing skellingtons!


  • diGriz
    I know it's bitter wallet but these posts are becoming so vitriolic. Not getting laid? Go to Soho and visit a model before you post some drivel next time, it's hardly becoming worth it to click on the links.
  • Gunn
    What a great guarantee, just offer a lifetime guarantee for a product you know is bound to be replaced in the short term anyway. still decent of them to offer a free tape to those who can be bothered to send it in.
  • Junkyard
    This is just a con - you send back your Scotch VHS tape and receive your BASF tape in return. In another 20 years when your BASF tape has degraded in quality, you attempt to return it to Scotch and they're all like "BASF? Sorry sir, our lifetime guarantee applies only to Scotch tapes." The bastards aren't going to catch me out that easily.
  • Andy D.
    @diGriz - you do realise that Wallace & Gromit aren't real don't you?
  • maxtweenie
    LOL @ "skellingtons." My wife's niece says that. Thick cow. I just tell her to shove it up her chimbley.
  • Shafting W.
    @maxtweenie You could get the buz over to her house and pacifically tell her to shove it up her chimbley.
  • diGriz
    @Andy. Really? Well in that case your not an uptight, angry little man shouting E-rage to make himself feel better at the world that he doesn't get along with... My point was these posts are just coming off as cringeworthy rants for no good reason. But you would have understood that from the post I made, so I guess your just flexing the E-peen again huh? There was plenty to joke about here, it just comes off poorly and wasn't worth the read.
    • Andy D.
      @diGriz - Not e-rage but mock rage actually as the joke was intended to be on myself, a grown man calling a clay model of a dog a "sly, self-serving arsehole" and his well-to-do master a "prick." Apologies if it went over your head.
  • diGriz
    @Andy The only thing that has gone over my head today was an umbrella. I doubt anything you write could reach those lofty heights and would fare somewhat less useful.
    • Andy D.
      @diGriz My apologies again. Would you like a refund?
  • diGriz
    Not necessary. You finally made me laugh. All I was saying was some of these threads have become acidic of late and there's no need for it.
  • Paul S.
    The name of the site is Bitterwallet. There's probably a clue in there, if you look hard enough.
  • diGriz
    And I mentioned that in my first post, if you read hard enough.
  • Paul S.
    Yes, seems like we've got our part pretty much nailed down, then. How can we help?
    • Andy D.
      I'm genuinely starting to hate Wallace & Gromit now.
  • Junkyard
    Change the name of the site to AmiableWallet?
  • zeddy
    Christ, diGriz, are you the Brian Sewell of Blogs? Don't listen Andy. I think you are hilarious. Better than those cunts of Hotdeals who gave me a warning for swearing. Wallace and Vomit are the emperor's new clothes. Still, don't suppose Wallace will be with us much longer..........
  • Alan
    @diGriz My apologies again. Would you like a refund? Yep requesting my refund of those advert click revenues and referrals that put the turkey on your christmas table pls
  • Mandy B.
    I like the mock-rage, and I want more. This site needs to be MORE like digitiser. So much so that I might write a rap for BW.

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