Commercial Break: George Clooney is dead

Actor and man George Clooney has died. He was aged somewhere between 30 and 55 and perished when a piano fell on his head in Paris.

The actor and man had just purchased a coffee machine and was believed to be heading back to his luxury hotel in order to modify it by sticking googly eyes on it.

Footage (below) has just been released of Clooney as he settles into his new home, in Heaven. He is believed to have taken his new coffee machine with him. The piano was destroyed in the incident.


  • The B.
    Presumably all the decent coffee's in hell then?
  • Nobby
    What I learnt from that: George Clooney has to make his own coffee. George Clooney has to go shopping for himself. John Malkovich is a door man in Heaven. If you buy a nespresso machine you will be killed.
  • xman
    Why would anyone in their right mind buy one of those god awful machines? Don;t they realise they are locked in from day one? And if you go to all the shops now there are rows of them out front, hiding the proper machines that are at the back. Grrrr.
  • mj
    this is it is better than this i realey dont belive this shit a piano wtf WTF WTF JESUS IT ANT FUCKING REAL
  • Jonell L.
    George Clooney is really a very convincing actor and an remarkable person on top of that. I love every thing that he is involved in, from his stance on gay rights along with other political views to his most recent film The American. Which was genuinely a very good movie flick, nevertheless it may not be what most anticipated, it was still a great film.

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