Commercial Break: Chuck Norris is 69 and he will still kick your ass

10 March 2009

Here’s some news – Chuck Norris is 69 years of age today. We KNOW the first thing that came into your head when you read that fact. It was “69 eh? Hmm, I could probably take him.” You’re wrong – you wouldn’t stand a chance.

Here’s Chuck in an ad from when he was just 67, dealing with a couple of assholes who dared to mock him on their website. They should have remembered that there is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Happy birthday tough guy – and don’t bother wasting your time and energy blowing out the candles on your cake; just stare at ‘em, but not too much or they'll melt.

9 comments

  • Darren W.
    Whatever happened to Mountain Dew over here?
  • Craig
    Jesus, I look older than him and I'm 50+ years younger! A little known fact, under Chuck Norris' beard, there is no chin... only another fist! And yes, what did happen to Mountain dew, I quite liked it!
  • Bullet
    If you have five quid and Chuck Norris has five quid, Chuck Norris has more money than you. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 pence every time he listens to a song. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open. Chuck Norris can eat just one Pringles crisp. Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. Lets be having ya.
  • Bob M.
    Chuck Norris is *insert stupid joke about how manly and strong he is* JESUS HES AN OLD GIT!
  • Jack B.
    Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. Jack Bauer would meanwhile do something important.
  • Sean B.
    That's not what I was thinking when you said 69...
  • -=Mike H.
    According to MCHammer, Chuck Norris CAN touch this
  • ShakesHeadSadly
    If Chuck Norris and Mr T walked into a bar, the bar would explode. As no one building can contain that level of awesomeness.
  • watching c.
    Hello! Can I, use some photographes from your page for my school project?

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