Commercial Break: Can dodgy celebs convince us of dodgy crisp claim?

11 March 2010

Walkers like to make a song and dance about their ad campaigns so it’s baffling as to why this new one, launched last night, has been born dead from the neck up.

They’ve taken the spurious idea that their crisps “can make any sandwich that little bit more exciting” a claim that they’ll never get to stand up in court if common sense has got anything to do with it, and tried to demonstrate it by hot-footing it off to… the town Sandwich in Kent! With celebrities!

That’s because celebrities make any situation crackle and fizz more than ordinary folk don’t they? Even if they’re a bunch of charisma-free grunts like Jenson Button, Frank Lampard, Marco Pierre White and Pamela Anderson. Nice, at least two of them have starred in home-made sex tapes so that should get things going. Oh, and there’s JLS, who don’t count as real celebs because they were on The X Factor.

As usual, they’re all led by Walkers’ regular harbinger of doom, Gary Lineker, the man whose lack of personality has helped make BBC1’s weekly Premier League post mortem less exciting than an actual post mortem.

Look at the barely-disguised disgust on Marco Pierre White’s mush as he gamely tries to go along with the premise that a bag of Walkers crisps will jazz up any sandwich he could cobble together (although crucially, he never actually makes the claim himself.)

A spokesbod for the snack behemoths growled: "The new Walkers ad is all about taking the ordinary and making it extraordinary." So there you are people of Sandwich, you’re ordinary, okay? The only reason these snack fascists have descended on your bog-standard town is because some inspiration-free ad excec had a piss-weak idea about jazzing up a sandwich with a bag of crisps.

And they dare to wheel Lineker in to ring-lead the razzmatazz? Gah!


  • Codify
    God, what an embarassingly poor advert. Yuck.
  • Nobby
    We used to put crisps in our sandwiches back in the 1970s. When we were 5. Although we always found that Ringos were better than crisps. On other matters, Gary Lineker may be known for having big ears, but he can actually get a whole crushed pack of crisps into his foreskin.
  • NellieIrrelevant
    Though I don't want to come across as a healthfood nut, the all-pervasive sight of 'healthy lunch deals' that consist of a sandwich, drink and a bag of crisps is one of the greatest triumphs of modern British marketing. As if deep-fried slices of potato sprayed with a cocktail of chemical flavourings could ever be part of a 'healthy' diet.
  • dunfyboy
    Can you catch Hep C from a peck on the cheek?
  • Dale W.
    I like sweet chilli walkers in a sarnie with mayo I also like licking them off my mum
  • Nobby
    Dale - do you like rubbing them on yourself too? It would explain the skin colour.
  • Dale W.
    @Nobby HOW DARE YOU I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO INSULTED IN MY LIFE!!! Its actually WOTSITS I use to get my skin this colour, supplemented by 5 bottles a day of Sunny Delight and constant oil rubbed into my skin by naked 10 year old boys from the Philippines. The boys are fed entirely on a diet of cheese and orange based products. Therefore making their semen have a yellow/orange tinge which I rub onto my skin when they have finished Please get your facts right next time or I shall contact my solicitor GOOD DAY
  • Commercial B.
    [...] This is without any shadow of doubt a complete and utter disaster of an advertisement. It’s the latest Walkers effort, and it sinks to depths even lower than the previous effort from the crisp billionaires. [...]

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