Commercial Break: All hail the Purity Bear!
Youngsters! We know that your teenage years are confusing and upsetting, with your body and emotions and all that shit. But don’t let the rest of your entire lives be ruined and knackered by making the woeful mistake of getting naked with each other and doing sex things all over the bed or floor.
Purity is where it’s at in 2012, and it’ll DEFINITELY be worth it if you wait until you’re married before you strip off to your socks and do the sex things. So, the next time you feel tempted to do some ‘nude boning’, think about the contents of this infomercial video from the good folks at the Day Of Purity campaign.
If that doesn’t do the trick for you, get yourself a Purity Bear and carry it around with you at all times. You’ll quickly find that spurning offers of ‘adult hugs’ will be the least of your worries.