Commercial Break: A marriage free of bottom burp horror with this magic blanket

All hail the ‘Better Marriage Blanket’ – a cunningly-named piece of bed linen that should probably really be called the ‘Fart-Drinking Blanket.’

That’s because its job is to neutralize those nasty night-time arse niffs that can plague an otherwise-stable relationship. The resounding gut-trumpeting that makes a woman (or man) wonder what the hell possessed them to shack up with such a disgusting arse-parper and what can possibly be done about it.

Enter the Better Marriage Blanket, fashioned from the same type of fabric that is used by the military to protect against chemical weapons. With that kind of technology in play, the £80 price just has to be regarded as a bargain.

As for whether it works or not – if the manufacturers want to send us one, Paul says he’ll happy down eight pints of lager and a chicken vindaloo and put it to the test.


  • zeddy
    Arse magic?
  • SJT
    it doesn't protect against Dutch Ovens though.....
  • filthybatard
    What about those magic white stains
  • Jack
    Hahaha, its actually real as well. Some of these things....
  • me
    Deserves a WTF! IS DIS REAL???

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