Cash machines are so 20th century, you need Gold to Go™
There's something wrong with the world right now. Actually, there's quite a lot wrong with the world and there aren't enough years left of civilisation to list it all. But here's another example to stick on that list; an ATM machine that doesn't pay out cash, but gold bars. Gold bars. From a cash machine. We shit you not:
Yes, residents in Las Vegas and Florida will be able to punch in their PIN and scoop up their 1, 5, 10 and 28 gram (1 ounce) bars, with the machine checking the international price of gold six times an hour. We can't wait for these Gold To Go machines to reach the UK - when the revolution comes, we'll be snug in the Bitterwallet bunker with our assets secure in gold and tins of rice pudding.
It may not be as wrong as this, but that doesn't make it right.