Bye bye cremation, hello being dissolved and ground down to nowt

28 April 2010

death machine

Even in death, many of us suffer from sleepless nights worrying about our carbon footstomps. But no more – those emissions caused by having your own corpse cremated can soon be a thing of the past.

That’s thanks to the Resomator, a new contraption made by LBBC Technologies, a company in Stanningley, West Yorkshire. It offers a smokeless cremation experience, quickly dissolving you or your loved ones with a mixture of water and potassium hydroxide.

The Resomator is heated to 180 degrees under extreme pressure which breaks the body down in less than three hours. Once it’s done, all that remains (remains – ha!) is the skeleton, which is ground down to dust, ready to be laid to rest.

Don’t think about buying one for personal use though – they’re going for £300,000 at the moment. We reckon there’ll be a burgeoning market for them in the spy torture sector but it remains to be seen if they’ll cross over into everyday use.

Now if it could cook a pizza in under ten seconds…

12 comments

  • Matt
    Surely the energy required to heat that much water and to place the vessel under high pressure is going to our weigh the smoke from burning you?
  • Andy B.
    WTF IS DIS REAL
  • darkspark88
    Why is there always someone that writes"WTF IS DIS REAL" can these comments automatically be deleted?
  • Rob
    I would be all for automatic termination of people who use capitals and 'text speak'. It should really just be caleld 'retard speak'
  • Another p.
    @Rob.......caleld? Retard Burn them all..
  • Local W.
    If only I had one of these all those years ago.
  • Gunn
    Does this thing plug back into the national grid?
  • JGN
    WTF!?!! IS DIS REAL!?!? OMG I DIE WTF BBQ!!!! -never has a line been more appropriate
  • raptorcigs b.
    I WOULD RATHER BURN OUT THAN JUST FADE AWAY (HIGHLANDER)
  • hippy
    apparnetly from what ive read, on wiki, god bless it, the potassium hydroxide has an exothermic reaction with the water, making it use less energy. I dont know why they didnt think of this type of thing sooner, dip dead bodies into acid and then crunch up the bones selling it back to the grieving family in a £5 jar for £3k.
  • Jack
    lol @ Fred West!!! And fuck you to the WTF IS DIS REAL people. The reason people do this shit originates from what happened on Youtube once, then reached Facebook and Reddit, then the rest of the fucktards catching on now - http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/154821/YOUTUBE-COMMENT.jpg It may come from before then, but this is when I first saw it. Its funny sometimes, and in the right situation.
  • You B.
    [...] apology. A few days ago, we ran a story about the Resomator, a new smokeless alternative to cremation that has been pioneered in West [...]

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