Buying a laptop from Dixons isn't a great fit
Bend it. Fold it. Force it through a metal sieve. Place it in a blender. Throw it out a fourth floor window. Drive the Citroen Picasso back and forth over it. Dip it in liquid nitrogen then smash it into a jillion pieces. Let the dogs chew on it for a few hours. Feed it to an elephant and pick out the remnants from their car-sized excreta. Rain bricks of fury down upon it, like Charlie Heston destroying the Ten Commandments.
Your options are many and varied, but know that you will have to take action if you're going to fit your new laptop from Dixons into the recommended messenger bag:
Thanks to Bitterwallet reader Graham