Bow down before the miracle that is the Candwich
Yet again, Bitterwallet reports to you from the frontline of sandwich technology. Remember the first time you saw a sandwich being sold in sealed plastic packaging instead of merely being wrapped in greaseproof paper? Well mark today down in your diary as the day the sandwich world spun right off its axis.
Ask yourself how a sandwich could possibly be sold to you any fresher than it already is? The answer – put it in a can.
We speak, of course, about the Candwich, undoubtedly a major leap forward for humankind and their food consumption. When these eventually make it into the shops, we’ll be filling the Bitterwallet larder right up to the ceiling with these things, ahead of the imminent nuclear holocaust.
Sadly, there’s been a spot of bother in getting the Candwich from the brain to the shops, owing to the small matter of its inventor, Travis L. Wright (yes, American) being accused of defrauding real estate investors out of millions of dollars in order to fund his harebrained Candwich scheme.
But another company has stepped into the breach and it's been reported that these things will be in the shops of the United States of A shortly. Britain’s breath is baited…