Bone idle? Own a dog? You need a Jog-A-Dog
All Americans are fat, stupid and lazy - that's not a misguided and lazy stereotype, that's a scientific fact. Case for the prosecution? Exhibit A, m'lud: the Jog-A-Dog. Yes, it's a treadmill for dogs:
It hasn't just been thrown together, though. No sir, the Jog-A-Dog has been "designed with the input of veterinarians, physical therapists and engineers". Why the hell would you want to buy one? As the website clearly explains in soupy sales bollocks, "by controlling the climate, time, duration, speed, resistance and frequency of exercise, you can develop a sound exercise regimen desired to achieve any exercise goal".
Perfect for all those people who saw the benefit of a pet dog as a way to get some exercise, but are too lazy to follow through - may you all choke on your own lard.